


Spot Me (While I Lift the Weight Of The World)

by innogueira



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Beefy Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes Feels, Certified Mess Bucky Barnes, Engineer Bucky Barnes, Gym AU, Hydra is shady, M/M, Modern AU, POV Bucky Barnes, Personal Trainer Steve Rogers, Stucky Alternate Universe Big Bang 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-18 12:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 38,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18120524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innogueira/pseuds/innogueira
Summary: Bucky Barnes has his life together. While it doesn’t seem like it to anyone else, especially Sam, he really does. He’s almost finished with his second Masters, he’s top of his class, and even tutors some poor engineering undergrads. Bucky just has to snag one of Stark Industries’ internships for his life to fall in line with that plan. So what if his sleeping schedule is beyond salvageable? So what if he hasn’t had a stable relationship in years?? So what if he goes to the gym at the weirdest hours? He’s focused on making up for his past mistakes. What kind of brother working at Hydra Enterprises, the biggest security company with a contract with the Department of Defense, fails his own sister so bad? He might have not been able to look at her since she was in that hospital bed, but he’s going to change that when he gets that internship and starts working on fixing the mess he created. In his his middle-of-the-night gym runs, Bucky meets Gym Steve, the hot graveyard shift PT, who not only improves Bucky’s posture, but sets him right on track with his plan. A lucky charm, or maybe the worst thing after Bucky’s Muscle Physiology class.Written by: InnogueiraArt By: Stovenbucket





	1. That's It?

**Author's Note:**

> Can you all believe I managed to finish this? Who would have thought a little AU shared with a friend in private would turn up into a full fic with actual plot? I certainly didn't and it was a tough road up until this point.  
> I want to thank everyone that helped me on this wild ride and cheered me on, not letting me quit. Everyone at Slack, my friends, and specially everyone who had to interact with my excited ass today. I appreciate all of you and this is dedicated to you all.  
> I want to specially thank my betas, Rachel (tumblr: @diamond0604 twitter:softystevie) and Jesse (@TheVagabondGuy) for making sense of my word vomit.  
> I got to colaborate on this fic with the amazing Stoven (ao3:stoven twitter&tumblr:stovenbucket) who created amazing pieces for I wrote, capturing the characters right as I imagined them. Thank you so much for choosing this fic out of the pool of amazing and intriguing others.  
> Thank you, reader, for clicking. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

“That...doesn’t look right.”

Bucky closed his eyes as Sam’s upside down face leaned above him, and with each lift of the dumbbells he was struggling to lift above his chest, he let out between groans a familiar string of words, “Shut... the fuck... up... Samuel.” Bucky’s breaths were shallow and he might have let out a little whine as he finally finished his fifteen rep set, much against his will. He wasn’t about to show weakness in front of his roommate. Not when he was so fit it was actually annoying.

“No, seriously, dude, you look like you could pull out a muscle,” Sam moved to help Bucky get the weights on his thighs as he sat up, taking in his red blotchy face, the drop of sweat making its way down his forehead from his damp hair, and that horrible messy bun Bucky called fashion and Sam just called a certified hobo mess, “Shouldn’t someone be spotting for you?”

“It’s six am, gym junkie with horrible advice hour only starts around seven,” Bucky pointed out sarcastically as he cleaned his face on the hem of his shirt, getting it damper than it already was. He hoped the amount of sweat meant he’d be absolutely exhausted once he showered and finally crawled under the covers.

So what if it had been four in the morning and Bucky couldn’t sleep after another late night studying? It wasn’t a night out of the ordinary for him, so he wasn’t going to knock on Sam’s door and drag him to the gym at that time. He didn’t have a death wish, as much as his _second_ masters made him want to accidentally drop a dumbbell on his own head. Bucky couldn’t sleep, so he actually took advantage of the 24 hour gym he had a membership to and dragged his ass down the street to get a workout in and, hopefully, be exhausted enough to get his eight hours of sleep once he got back to the apartment.

“And stupid hour has just ended, apparently” Sam rolled his eyes, picking up Bucky’s dumbbells and storing them in their slot, “You shouldn’t be struggling this much to lift forty-five pounds, dude.”

“On each arm!” Bucky quickly retorted, letting himself fall back on the bench, his forearm across his face as he tried to even out his breathing again. So what if he didn’t lift as much as Sam? He wasn’t a wannabe bodybuilder that watched his calorie intake, he just wanted to blow off some steam and to look good. He didn’t need to lift that much.

“Whatever, you still need help,” Sam walked back to where Bucky was sprawled on the bench, picking up his towel and throwing it at his face, making Bucky jump up in surprise and nearly fall to the floor. “Which is not an open invitation for you to wake me up at weird hours, but there’s plenty of capable trainers here than can help you out. Even at three in the morning or whatever outrageous hour you dragged your disheveled self in.”

“Aren’t you funny, Wilson,” Bucky rubbed his face on his towel with a sigh before throwing it around his neck and finally getting up. “I’m just trying to stay fit, not get so wide my shoulders can’t fit through the front door. I assume that’s your goal?” he winked playfully, but judging from Sam’s unimpressed face, it probably was just a weird blink of his eyes.

He’s tired, okay? Cut him some slack. He is probably running on 4 hours of sleep and way too much coffee and if he sees another textbook or any reminder of how stupid he was to get a second masters, he’s going to actually bang his head on some piece of heavy equipment. Everyone should just be thankful that Bucky’s not very cranky right now, which is a surprise in his current state.

Bucky just shrugged and picked up his things, his phone, his keys, his water bottle, and started to make his way out of the weight room. He’ll see Sam when he wakes up after a long, well deserved nap, so he doesn’t need any more social interaction or Sam’s pointed looks. Specially not at six in the morning, when Sam’s fresh as a lettuce and Bucky might as well be a zombie at this point.

“Hey, if you dislocate something and can’t move, I won’t be bringing food to your stupid ass when you’re bedridden,” Sam called out as Bucky raised his middle finger over his back as he walked to the locker rooms. What an dick. As if he didn’t bring him chicken noodle soup last year when Bucky caught the flu.

Bucky’s friendship with Sam was…weird, but somehow it worked. They had met back during their undergrad years, having to work together on a project for a class they shared, and as much as they got on each other’s nerves sometimes, they ended up becoming friends. They moved in together to cut rent three years ago and have been driving each other crazy ever since. They liked to bicker, but no one could say they didn't care deeply about each other.

He was still going to blame Sam for this, though. Bucky was so distracted doing an amazing impersonation of his roommate complaining about his multiple dirty coffee mugs all over the kitchen counter, that he nearly got hit in the face with the heavy door that lead to the male locker room. He had no way to stop it, his fingers buried deep in his hair as he tried to fix his ponytail.

“Shit. Sorry man,” Some blond guy built like Sam, AKA a brickhouse, peaked his head out behind the door as Bucky stepped in front of it out of thin air. Thankfully the door only hit Bucky’s shoulder and not his face, though that would probably be enough to knock him out for a few hours; he’ll revisit that idea next time he can’t sleep.

“No worries. I’m way too tired to even look where I’m going,” Bucky waved it off, letting his hair fall to his shoulders as he held the door open so the other guy could actually get out and Bucky could finally get that shower he had been fantasizing about since he finished is warm up run on the treadmill “Have a nice workout,” he patted the guy’s shoulder as he walked past him to get inside, already hearing the showers calling his name.

And Bucky did sleep. 7 full hours of it. He even had time to grab something to eat before he had to tutor this second year that was struggling with Robotics. He wasn’t even cranky or gave the kid a bad time, managing to crack a few jokes to lighten the mood. His body ached, going up or down a flight of stairs was a major feat but that was normal after going as hard as Bucky had gone that morning at the gym.

All in all, it was a good day. He didn’t have classes to go to, so he stayed on campus, moving to the library to work on his projects. He needed to do some readings to figure out a way to improve his Stark project, so he sat on his favourite chair by the window that overlooked the quad and refused to get up until he had found the reason his 3D mockup was giving errors left and right.

If he got back to the apartment at two in the morning, exhausted, his eyes red rimmed, well, at least Sam wasn’t awake to see.

That had been Bucky’s life for the past two years. Ever since he decided to go back to school, most of his habits changed. While he had worked a relatively healthy 9 to 5 before, no matter how many extra hours he had to do, it had been impossible to keep the same schedule going with classes. It was like Bucky hadn’t learned anything from undergrad, really.

He tried, though. He was a grown up now, he had to at least pretend he had some sort of control over his life, that he wasn’t ruled by the next deadline. So he went to the gym, and actually went grocery shopping regularly. He even made his bed before leaving the apartment! It was little victories Bucky was holding on to as he tried to get his degree and get a Stark internship.

Oh, yeah, Bucky wasn’t dumb enough to go back to school for the hell of it. He made a lot of stupid decisions in his life, but this wasn’t one of those. He had a set plan when he applied and he was sticking to it. Maybe he left his good sleep schedule back in 2010, but as long as he made the submission deadline for the internship he needed so badly, it would be worth it. All of it would have been worth it.

Bucky tries to focus on that when he crawls in bed at those odd times. That staying up this late was worth it; because at his 10am class next morning he would learn something that would get him closer to his goal. He pulls the covers up to his neck and pushes his hair off his face and just deals with the fact that this is going to be his life for a few more months. What’s a few more sleepless nights? Bucky can function with three hours of sleep and half a gallon of coffee.

The end goal is worth it.

It’s a few nights later and Sam drops a pizza box on top of one of the several books Bucky has on the living room table, earning a hard glare from him, “You’re welcome,” Sam said nonchalantly, dropping a six pack next to it before casually opening the carton lid and taking a slice out and stuffing half of it in his mouth.

“I’m studying,” Bucky tugged the books from under the pizza box before they got soaked with grease, still glaring at Sam “You know, some people haven’t committed to the grown up life just yet.”

Sam chuckled, taking another bite out of the pepperoni pizza. “I’m so tired that I’m starting to think that maybe frying my brains studying isn’t such a bad idea after all,” shaking his head, he slumps on the chair. “Got a new patient today… Dumbass broke both his arms jumping from a roof to a trampoline for a video. This is my life,” Sam laughed tiredly, taking a swing from his beer as he shook his head “Helping dumbasses recover from their dumbass mistakes.”

Sam’s a physical therapist. He works at the Memorial Hospital downtown, and he’s good at what he does. While being a huge dick, well, to Bucky, he is a good professional. A really good one. Bucky had seen him working once or twice, when he used to show up at the hospital during his internship to try to drag him out for lunch. Sam was the right balance of kindness, charm, and authority. Poor patients.

All of that didn’t mean he had it harder than Bucky, who is currently surrounded by several sketches of body parts and has to finish and present a somewhat functional prosthetic prototype to even be considered for a Stark internship. He also has his final exams looming way too close for Bucky’s comfort, which is mostly trying to ignore until he manages to impress whoever runs the program over at Stark Industries to give him that internship.

Bucky’s has a lot on his plate right now, who cares about a stupid teenager doing stupid teenage shit? Here’s an adult doing stupid teenage shit, _a second time._

“Are you trying to tell me you miss anatomy?” Bucky waved a stack of papers before setting them aside so he could pick up a slice of pizza. “Or getting two hours of sleep every night? Get out of here.” He took a big bite out of his slice for emphasis.

“You have two hours of sleep every night because you don’t know what time management is,” Sam pointed out, getting a guilty roll of Bucky’s eyes in return, “Seriously, dude, you go to class, you tutor some poor souls that thought engineering was their callin’, you come back here, don’t do your dishes, eat shit, drink shitty coffee to keep you awake while your last three brain cells try to absorb more study material. For what?” Sam asked in that tone that reminded Bucky too much of his mother when she learned how much Bucky was actually doing with his daily 24 hours. “Work for someone worth more than everyone here in DC? Thought you were done with that.”

Throwing the crust of his slice back into the box before getting a new one, Bucky sighed. “You know why. Believe me, Hydra paid well, but that’s not what I want to be doing. Shouldn’t be what anyone’s doing,” Bucky stared at the pepperoni sliding off his slice thoughtfully, before speaking again, “I need the Stark internship to help Becca, and if getting a masters in Biomechanics gets me closer to that, I’ll do it.”

At the mention of Bucky’s sister, they quiet down and if they hadn’t known each other for so long, it could have been considered an awkward silence. She was always a tough subject for Bucky. He’d do anything for his little sister, but after everything that happened, the relationship was strained. At least that’s what Bucky felt like, though Sam has told him multiple times to get his head out of his ass and just talk with Rebecca, that she’d forgive him. Bucky just couldn't pick up the phone and reach out, so he’s going to actually do something for her before trying to get their old relationship back. As a way of making up for what he’s done.

That’s why he needed this. He needed the internship, more than just for his thesis, or to actually help people. He just wanted to help his baby sister.

“You know,” Sam cuts the silence after a while, “I’ve seen what you’ve done before. Your little robotic projects during undergrad. Your skills and backstory would be enough to snag you that internship.” And there’s that Sam everyone likes, even Bucky on special occasions. The Sam that makes everyone around him feel good even when they’re feeling like shit.

Bucky looks up at him and smiles softly before shrugging and getting that piece of pepperoni in his mouth before it fell on his notes. After swallowing, Bucky turns to Sam again. “I know I’m good. I got a full ride, but I want to be more than that. I want more than a sob story and a diploma with honors. I want to show I’m committed, that I’m the best possible candidate. I want that internship.”

Sam hummed, taking a swing from his beer. “You’re stubborn. You’ll get it.”

“And you’re a dick. You won’t get that nurse’s number,” Bucky shot back like the 27 year old child he was before cracking one open for himself. That was enough of serious talking for the next month.

Sam, like the 26 year old child he also was, threw the leftover crusts Bucky was pilling on the corner of the carton box at his face, laughing. “All those midnight trips to the gym aren’t gettin’ you any either, asshole,”

“Says who? I have a very healthy sex life!” Bucky protested as he threw the crusts back onto the box. Now he definitely wasn’t going to eat them.

Sam raised a brow at him, clearly unimpressed and believing nothing Bucky was saying, “Again, when? Between drooling on a book and fixing another cup of coffee in your dirty sweats?” And maybe he was right. _Maybe_.

“Maybe I’m hooking up at the gym, ever thought about that?”

“Sure. Like I don’t find you nearly hyperventilating from a few bench presses and that thing you call hair looking like a rat’s nest. Who are you exactly impressing over there?” he asked with a light hearted laugh, shaking his head.

“Well, I’m not arguing with someone who is literally using my discarded notes as a napkin- Sam, what the fuck?” Bucky complained loudly as he saw what his roommate was doing. And Bucky was the problematic one that didn’t do dishes?

“What?! I forgot napkins!” Sam finished cleaning his fingers on what Bucky was sure was a half drawn arm prosthetic that he got rid after realizing a full metal arm would look badass as fuck but also be impractical as fuck for the average human. As he was done, he also threw it at Bucky’s head.

Bucky groaned exasperatedly, picking the crumpled piece of paper from the floor, “I hate you.” ***                              

Bucky jumped awake as his phone rang on his bedside table. He had fallen asleep in the early hours of the morning on top of his bed, his laptop pushed to the other side, teetering on the very edge, the screen black, clearly out of battery.

Rubbing his eyes, Bucky reached for his phone, which was still screeching on the bedside table. If it was Sam telling him to wake up, he was going to mess up his folded laundry. And eat all of his food from the fridge

It’s wasn’t Sam, but the name displayed on the screen woke him right up.

**_Rebecca Barnes_ **

Bucky stared at his phone, biting his bottom lip, his finger hovering above the _accept call_ , not really sure what to do.

It had been a while since they talked, and it had been Becca who called that last time as well. It probably was nothing, it never was, just mindless chat to catch up, but those calls always left a bad taste in Bucky’s mouth

Before she could hang up, Bucky took a deep breath and answered the call, leaning back on the bed as he raised the phone to his ear.

“Hey, Becs.”

“Hey, James…. Are you.. Were you asleep?” Fuck, he missed her voice, but he certain didn’t miss her acting like she was the older sibling.

“Maybe. What are you, mom?”

“Nah, I’m more like dad, you’re the momma’s boy” Becca laughs softly. “You were asleep.” She simply states.

Bucky groans as he runs a hand through his hair, sliding so he could actually be lying down on the bed, “Had a late night, I have school stuff to do.”

“Well, you're not special, so do I.” Becca huffs, but she’s doing that thing when she has news and can’t wait to actually spill it. It normally came attached to some kind of half hearted insult.

“You.. have?”

Bucky can feel the eye roll from across the country “Weren’t you the one telling me to find something to do and get out of the house? If you actually went on Facebook or, y’know, called me more often, you’d know I signed up for a few classes at that community college downtown.”

“Becca. That’s amazing!” Bucky said honestly. It really was an amazing thing. One of  the few things Bucky insisted on when they did talk was that she should go out, not stay home skulking and feeling sorry for herself. If going back to school was that, Bucky supported her wholeheartedly. “What are you taking? Are you enjoying it?”

“Just a few Marketing classes, nothing big. Mom drives me down. People are nice and don’t stare. If they do, I’ll just take it off and throw it at their faces.”

“Becca…” Bucky sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Goddamn, this kid was going to give him greys before he reaches his thirties.

“What?” she gives a small laugh and Bucky can’t help but mimic her, before falling silent again for a moment.

“I love you….”

Becca hesitates for a second, and Bucky knows she’s surprised. It’s been a while since Bucky had shown this much affection. “I love you more, Bucks. I miss you.”

Bucky bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes before letting out in a breath “I.. I miss you, too.” It was hard for Buck to admit it when he felt he had no right to feel like this. It was him who had stepped back from his sister’s life, but he couldn’t help but miss her. Becca had been his favourite person for so long, it was hard to forget that, no matter what happened between them.

“I know how you get when you’re doing your thing, and that asking you to come home for Christmas is plain delusional, but..” Becca hesitates for a moment “How about when you graduate? I guess only seeing my brother when he has another Masters under his belt isn’t so bad.” she gave a little nervous laugh

Bucky thinks about the Stark Internship and what he could do with it. Maybe coming home then wouldn’t be so hard.

“Yes… I’ll visit you when I get my nose out of the books.” he eventually let out, giving a little breathy laugh at the end to mask the fact that he wasn’t ready to face her just yet. Not anytime soon.

“You can’t go back on your word now. Or I’ll drive all the way to DC and make you hang out with me.” Becca threatened, but Bucky could hear the teasing in her voice.

“You hate DC.” Bucky deadpans

Becca laughs, but quiets down just as quick “I love you more than I hate our country’s capital. That’s how serious I am.”

“Love you, too.” It has been a while since had talked with Becca so Bucky had forgotten how these displays of affection made him uncomfortable, so he did what he does best in these situations. He deflects “Hey, look, glad you called, because I have a lab in an hour and I haven’t showered.”

“Bucky-”

“I let my hair grow out, it’s a bitch to untangle after a nap.” he spoke over her, as to not let her have time to call him out on his bullshit.

“Okay. Talk to you later, then.” Becca sounded defeated, and Bucky cursed himself, but he couldn’t just pretend to be fine when he wasn’t.

It was stupid, Bucky knew. It was his sister that went through the most horrible experience she could have had, and here Bucky was, acting like a little bitch like the world had been against him instead.

“Bye.” Bucky hung up, staring at his screen for a few seconds before sighing. Just a few more months. A few more months and he could apologize properly.

Getting up from the bed, Bucky pulled his hair up from his face, before walking to his desk, turning on his computer. Now that he was awake, might as well get some work done. As he walked to the kitchen to make himself a bowl of cereal for breakfast, Bucky figured he could stop by the gym later. He needed to get the stress out somehow, and if working didn’t do it for him, maybe sweating it out would.

_***_

__

“Sorry, can I just give you some advice?”

Bucky closed his eyes as he lowered himself on a last lunge, one of his knee making a cracking sound that no healthy 27 year old’s knee should never do .

He finds himself at the gym at a reasonable hour this time, Sam would be proud. He’s making considerable advances on his project for the Stark internship so he awarded himself some time off. It was too early to go out so he figured going to the gym wouldn't hurt.

He was wrong, though.

7.30 P.M

Yup, right on time for the afternoon shift of gym dude bros giving their unwanted advice.

With a groan, Bucky got up straight, his thighs shaking from the strain of three sets of lunges, taking his sweet time with getting his ear buds out before turning to the voice.

Giving the guy a look over, remembering him as the guy who nearly knocked his lights out a few days ago, Bucky sighed, “If you’re telling me to skip leg day, please don’t bother. These thighs of betrayal aren’t going anywhere.”

“Why- Why would I tell you that?” The guy looks completely offended at Bucky’s comeback, his brows frowning in confusion.

“I mean… You do look like you might have skipped a few weeks of leg day,” Bucky shrugged as he pointed to the guy’s legs.

“Oh, woah, way to punch a guy right where it hurts,” the blond said, resting his hand over his heart in mock hurt. And okay, maybe Bucky was a bit out of line. Sam had already told him multiple times that not everyone got his humor and he was too aggressive sometimes, that Bucky should watch his mouth. He tried, really, but sometimes things just got out before he had time to think them through. “Just share your secret for thighs like yours, man, no matter how hard I go or how many new things I try, they don’t seem to get on with the program as well as the rest of my body.”

The guy is actually laughing, a grin on his lips, so maybe he didn’t offend yet another stranger. Bucky matches his grin. Victory.

“Or maybe don’t, because it pained me watching your knees nearly give out,” blond grimaced for a second before chuckling, rubbing the back of his neck “That’s actually what I wanted to give you advice on. Your posture is giving me anxiety, that’s how bad it is.”

Bucky dropped his head with a laugh, shaking his head. “Way to ruin a guy’s ego, you were doing so well with the thigh envy.” As he lifted his head, Bucky pushed back the few stray hairs that got out of his bun, already sticking to his sweaty forehead. He might need a haircut, and he might not be getting one out of spite for Sam.

Maybe he just needs an headband.

The guy actually looked sheepish as he talked, and for a moment Bucky felt bad for being so aggressive. “Sorry, man, it’s just that this is kind of my job and I’m not buried up to my neck in debt to not use my Fitness degree.”

“Fitness, uhm….” Bucky let out a whistle, actually impressed. He couldn’t picture someone doing this for fun, specially after all the Anatomy books he’d gone through these past months. “So you’re not a random dude that read a post on Facebook and is about to lecture me about something he knows nothing about?”

“Nah, all my knowledge comes from books and actual training. Just wanted to help you out, give you a few pointers so you don’t leave with an injury and sue the gym. I actually need this job, DC is expensive.”

Bucky eyed the guy. Tight fitting Under Armour shirt, loose gym shorts, with pecs Bucky was sure were nicer than his memory foam pillow. Short blond hair and the bluest eyes he has seen in a while. He had his hands on his narrow hips, making his shoulders seem wider, but he could see what he meant. While his legs weren’t a match for his arms, Bucky could see how toned they really were. Not everyone was blessed with thick thighs like him, but this guy wasn’t hard to look at. _At all_.

“Okay,” Bucky agreed, nodding before reaching out with his hand. “I’m Bucky. What’s the name I’ll be cursing tomorrow when I can’t get up from bed?” he joked playfully, but in all honesty, Bucky wouldn’t mind this guy getting him sore in other ways.

 _Focus Bucky._ Last thing he needed was another crush on a straight guy. He’s back in college but he’s not going to repeat the mistakes he did the first time.

“Steve,” the guy, _Steve_ , shook his hand firmly, a friendly smile on his lips. Bucky was expecting the firm handshake, but he wasn’t expecting how soft his hand would be. He was expecting hard knuckles and calloused skin, but this guy’s hand was so soft that Bucky was jealous. How is this fair?

Focus! Stop thinking about how soft Steve’s hand is.

“So,” Steve taking his hand back and clapping got Bucky out of that weird hand obsession “Can I actually tell you how to improve your form?”

Bucky waved his hand in a “go ahead” motion, before stepping to the side, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Okay, so,” Steve stands next to Bucky, spreads his feet hip width apart and looks at him “This has to be your neutral pose. Your feet were too close to one another, I’m surprised you didn’t lose balance.”

Bucky shrugged softly “I mean, I guess part of my concentration was going to trying not to fall.” He was slightly embarrassed for not knowing something that sounded so basic, but this guy is explaining things so naturally, that Bucky doesn’t feel dumb about them.

Bucky mimics the blond, this time feeling more secure in his lunges. He lowers himself down and immediately feels the difference. He really was butchering them “Woah, this hurts in new places.”

Steve laughs, standing up and quickly storing the dumbbells Bucky was using “Yeah, people always say that when they’re finally doing things correctly,” he comes up with lighter dumbbells “Try these ones now. Back straight, head held high.”

Taking them with a quick thanks, Bucky tries a slow lunge, taking in the pointers Steve just gave him. Back straight, his feet spread at the right distance, staring at himself in the mirror in front of him. He figured the lighter weights would make a huge difference, but they really didn’t.  If anything, doing things the right way hurt more than whatever he was doing before. His thighs ached, and the weight, even if lighter, felt as heavy as the dumbbells he had before.

“So?” Steve asked expectantly, a soft smile of his lips.

“This one lunge felt like it did more than the three sets I did,” Bucky chuckled, standing up and placing the dumbells down “Which I’m sure it did, because I’m already tired.” he said as he pushed back the strand of hair that kept falling in his face.

“I’m sure you’re not tired, but actually working the right muscles when you’ve been doing things wrong always hits differently the first time,” Steve said with a smile Bucky could see it was genuine, not just the standard nice smile some of the other PT’s had when they were trying to get you to buy an hour-session with them.

Bucky looked at Steve and nodded in agreement, mirroring his smile “Probably a good idea to get myself someone to explain how I can stop doing everything wrong. No wonder I haven’t got abs yet.” he joked playfully.

“I’d totally go over your workout plan with you to see what else you’re butchering, but I got an core’ class in a few minutes,” he looked honestly apologetical as he spoke, looking at the studio room they had across the gym, where the group classes were held.

Bucky waved it off  “Don’t worry about it. I am actually done for the day, I gotta get back home and study anyway.” he then leaned closer and whispered “And I know I’d get way too tired, so might as well start fresh, right?” he chuckled.

Steve shook his head, the corner of his eyes wrinkled and his grin still in place “Of course, wouldn’t want you to actually sweat. Totally not the end goal here.”

“Nah, I just come here for the mirror selfies. The working out part is just smoke and mirrors,” Bucky joked “Besides, plenty of your coworkers already tried to get me to contribute to their commissions, they would hate you if you were the one who got me to open my pockets.”

“Hey, no, you wouldn’t have to. It’s actually my job to help people around here, I wouldn’t charge you for that,” Steve said quickly “Seriously, next time you’re around, I’ll go over it with you, that way you won’t need to spend money on a personal trainer. Depending on the person, sometimes it’s money down the drain.” He shrugged his massive shoulders, and Bucky couldn’t help but stare.

He wasn’t expecting this guy to be this honest, but he really appreciated it. It wasn’t like Bucky was cheap, but he didn’t see the need in a personal trainer. Of course a detailed workout plan was worth the money, and Bucky had already paid for one, but paying for someone to yell at him to drop lower on the squats? No thank you. Having someone agreeing with him just proved his point. Especially when said person was and actual personal trainer, that would easily benefit from telling Bucky how much he needed one.

“Woah, thanks. Am I that hopeless that you gotta take me as a charity case?” Bucky joked, before shaking his head “I mean, I would really appreciate it. If it isn’t a bother to you. I mean, it’s your job, but then again, maybe I’m too hopeless.”

Steve waved it off, before resting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder for a moment “Nah, don’t worry. Like you said, it’s my job.”

Bucky nodded with a hum, before extending his hand at Steve “Then I guess it’s settled. I’ll even go as far as tip you an hour’s fee if I’m unbearable.”

Steve laughed, throwing his head back, before shaking Bucky’s hand again “It’s a deal. But you’ll find out I’m very patient.”

“And I’m a mess. But a mess that wants abs, so I gotta work for them.” Bucky shrugged playfully.

The smile on Steve’s was still there, but it fell flat as he looked at his wrist watch “Well, gotta go help some other people get their dream abs.” He looked up at Bucky, “Just get my card from the front desk, it has my schedule there. Show up whenever you want.” He said as he started to walk backwards towards the studio.

Bucky nodded “Will do. See you around.” He waved him off before looking around himself, deciding that yes, it really was time to go.

Well, Bucky thought as he walked to the locker room, not only was he gonna start working out for real, he just got the best looking personal trainer in that gym to help him out. Bucky didn’t know how he had only seen him now, when he was coming here for over an year now (the fact that he barely had stepped foot in there had nothing to do with that, thank you very much) but he wasn’t going to complain if he saw him more often. The help was appreciated, the eye candy was a great bonus.

Maybe he had just found a reason to work more often, maybe even have a routine.

_***_

“Do you happen to know that blond PT down at Asgard?” Bucky asked later that night, sitting on the couch as he read some lab reports.

“Thor?” Sam asked, not taking his eyes from the TV, zapping through the channels, trying to find something interesting to watch.

“Yes, Thor.” Bucky rolled his eyes dramatically, placing down his notes on the arm of the couch  “Everyone knows who Thor is, dumbass, he owns the place. The other one.”

Sam rolled his eyes at Bucky “I don’t know if you know, your attention span sometimes doesn’t even last 5 seconds.” He then scratched the back of his neck as he thought “Uh...Oh! Steve! Steve?” he squinted his eyes at Bucky “Why?”

“Why? No reason, just met him for the first time, thought he was a new guy.” Bucky shrugged nonchalantly.

Sam gave him the side eye, before looking back at the TV “You just have an awful gym schedule, you probably never bumped into him.” He finally stopped on the Food Network  Channel “Cool dude, has worked out once or twice with me.”

Bucky hummed, picking up his notes again and keeping up the light conversation. “Yeah, met him today. Said he’d go through my workout plan to see what he can change to help me out.”

“You’re into him.” Sam simply stated, not taking his eyes from the New York Cheesecake the people on screen were making.

Bucky’s mouth opened in protest, but he quickly closed it. Sam knew him, of course he’d know Bucky would find Steve attractive. “He probably thinks I’m an idiot for not doing a simple lunge correctly.”

Sam hummed, the corner of his mouth quirking “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Bucky kicked out his leg, hitting Sam on his thigh across the couch “Don’t be a dick.”

“What?!” Sam protested with a laugh “I told you, I don’t think you do shit right.”

Bucky rolled eyes “Just be thankful you won’t have to massage me back to health when I pull a muscle, then.”

Sam chuckled “Oh, I am. Maybe you’ll finally get a decent workout routine and stop moaning about not having abs.” he joked, turning his attention back to the TV.

Bucky mocked Sam with some exaggerated facial expressions, before settling down and going back to his notes.

So what if he really did start going to the gym more regularly? It had nothing to do with Steve’s attractiveness and everything to do with the fact that he was kind enough to help Bucky out.

Oh, who was he lying to? Of course having some eye candy while he worked out was a major incentive, specially when it looked like Steve. It was a good deal, though, Bucky would actually have a decent workout schedule now. He would probably start to see actual results instead of sweating it out and aching.

Maybe he was at Asgard Fitness the next day, at 3am. Both because it was during Steve’s shift and Bucky had been working the entire night on his Stark project and couldn’t sleep. Either way, he was there, hair pulled up in a tight bun, ready to make this workout his bitch.

As soon as he entered the main area of the gym, Bucky spotted Steve. It wasn’t hard when Steve’s hair reflected the light standing directly above him and his jacket was a bright, white, breathable fabric. He was also talking with another guy, that was deadlifting. Bucky didn’t want to bother him so he chose the treadmill in front of one of the flat screens, popped in his earphones and started his warm up run.

Bucky hated running, repetitive cardio in general. Maybe it was because he had the knees of a 60 year old man, but running just wasn’t his thing. He knew he needed some cardio in his workout routine, and since he wasn’t active enough to do that with high intensity exercises, he resorted to running to warm up.

Didn’t mean he liked it, specially sweating like a pig like he always did on the treadmill, but it isn’t so bad when they’re showing reruns of Brooklyn Nine-Nine on the screens. It was enough to distract him from the fact that he was fifteen minutes into his run and that Steve was approaching him.

“Hey, Bucky.” Steve said cheerfully as he stood on the empty treadmill next to Bucky’s, making him stumble a few steps ungracefully, having to reach out to stop Bucky from actually falling down and hurting himself.

Bucky cursed as he once again made an ass out of himself in front of the cute PT, catching his footing before slowing down the roll of the treadmill to a nice walking pace “Hey!” he said slightly out of breath but cheerfully, pretending he hadn’t nearly killed himself on a treadmill.

Steve chuckled like the whole situation was amusing. Which Bucky had to admit; it was. Only he was the one that looked dumb, not Steve, so of course the other would laugh at it. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Steve said with a smile “How you’ve been? Thought I had scared you off.”

Bucky shook his head, glancing at Steve for a moment before looking straight ahead again, so he wouldn’t get distracted and trip again. “It would take more than that to scare me off. I just had school stuff to deal with. You know, college student life.”

Bucky saw from the corner of his eye Steve nodding and leaning against the treadmill he was standing on “Unfortunately I do. I don’t miss it at all.” he laughed softly “So, I guess you’re avoiding academic responsibilities more than you’re excited about working out?” he guessed with a bright smile.

Making the treadmill come to a halt, Bucky finally turned to Steve, pushing the few stray hairs that had fallen from his bun back from his eyes “I mean, a bit of both?” Bucky chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck “I definitely am sick of looking at my computer, but I was promised help into getting fit, so I had to take that chance while I could as well.”

Steve laughed, nodding with a smile “I did promise that. And look at that, you’re already all warmed up, you’re ready to start working,” he clapped his hands together once, before motioning for Bucky to follow him along to the weights area in the back.

Building up a work out plan for Bucky was harder than he had expected. Bucky actually had to go through all of the exercises, to see what he could actually was able to do, to have the start weight marked down and to have the movements on lock, so he didn’t get hurt. Steve talked him through it, adapting things so it was easier on Bucky’s old man knees, or his back. He went through a full body workout in an hour, and a set of each exercise was enough to get him sweating by the end of it.

Still, Bucky had in his hands a fully functional workout plan by the end of it, divided by muscle groups throughout different days, so he could focus all his energy on certain body parts and be able to move the next day.

Steve had patted him on the back and told him he did great and that he hoped this would help Bucky actually set up a routine and see results quicker than he had before. Bucky figured it was just him being nice, but he had really felt like he could do everything and while he was tired, there was no joint or muscle that hurting uncomfortably, which didn’t happen when Bucky worked out before.

_***_

Following a plan was easier than Bucky had thought. Also having different days for different body parts had its logic, as now Bucky doesn’t get bored of his workouts, because they’re always different each day he goes in, which is slowly becoming a regular thing. He still has a messed up sleeping schedule, and he stays up way too late working on his Stark project, but he’s going to the gym every other day now.

Steve is always around, as Bucky does try to go when he knows the other is working, and sometimes he actually does Bucky’s sets with him, which is only another incentive for Bucky to actually step foot at the gym. He also would never pass on the opportunity to see Steve’s biceps at work, or peaking at his v-line when he used his shirt to wipe out the sweat on his face.

Sometimes he does feel like a creep, when Steve’s actually a really nice guy, but Bucky has eyes, and a pretty dry sex life right now, so he takes whatever he can get. Steve works out, he can’t be _that_ mad about someone enjoying his form, both in jealousy and lust, which is Bucky’s case. It’s not Bucky’ fault when he’s the one lifting up his shirt and flashing his abs to everyone at Asgard all the time.

In the course of a few weeks Bucky gets a routine going, and before he knows it, Steve is pushing him past his new found comfort zone.

“You really need to try one of my HIIT classes,” Steve says as he puts on a clean shirt over his head. Bucky had had a hair-pulling kind of night with his project and only managed to get to the gym at around seven in the morning. He was done around the time Steve was done with his shift, and that’s why they’re chatting in the locker room now. “I think you’re ready to actually see me pushing people to their limit.”

 _You’re pushing me to my limit right now_ , Bucky thinks as he zips up his jeans. He managed to shower, get dressed, and keep up a light conversation with Steve without even so much as glancing his naked way. The wide span of back muscles he got a peak of was enough. “Dude, I just started squatting without my knees cracking, I don’t think I can handle anything more advanced than that.” he said as he distracted himself with organizing his gym bag.

Steve chuckled “I think you’re ready for something just a tiny bit more advanced than that.” he shut his own locker, picking up his back and swinging it over his shoulder “Thursday, six thirty in the morning. I promise I’ll go easy on your first time.” he joked, clapping Bucky in the shoulder as he walked past him.

Shaking his head, Bucky laughed “Bold of you to assume I will be awake at that time.”

Steve shrugged, pointing at his wrist watch “It’s nearly nine and you’re here. With no sleep.”

“... I had a rough night and I’m falling into bed right after I manage to survive this lab class I have in thirty minutes.” Bucky pointed out, giving Steve a look before going back to folding his towel.

“Mhm, okay.” Steve hummed, and Bucky didn’t need to be looking at him to know he was grinning at him. “See you Thursday, then. Six thirty, Buck, don’t forget.” he squeezed Bucky’s shoulder once before he started to make his way outside.

Bucky looked back, seeing Steve leave the locker room with the usual swagger on his step. Bucky flipped him off as Steve looked back at him one last time before closing the door with a loud laugh.

Shaking his head fondly, Bucky picked up his bag, fixing his hair and following the path Steve had just taken. Bucky didn’t need much to be convinced by Steve to do anything, but doing it after Bucky had showered in the stall next to his, that was a cheap shot. Not that he had seen anything, he made sure of that, but being in Steve’s naked presence just did things to him, so of course he was going to be there Thursday at that ungodly hour.

Bucky had to remind himself that all of that was to look good on his shirtless pictures.

_Abs, not Steve._

_***_

It was 6 in the morning on the following Thursday and Bucky was already regretting getting up early for this. One thing was another sleepless night where working out was the only thing that got him tired enough to get some shut eye, but actually waking up before the sun was up to go to the gym? Bucky was starting to go crazy, that’s what’s happening.

Okay, maybe his mental health is as well as a grad student’s could be at this point. It’s Bucky’s boner that’s out of control.

Steve. That was the reason Bucky dragged himself out of bed in one of the rare days he actually slept in it.

It was stupid really, this goddamn crush he had on his personal trainer. Hell, his monthly subscription didn’t even go up, which meant he wasn’t even paying for all the help this guy had given him. So really, this was getting out of control and he wasn’t even paying Steve for all the trouble he put him through.

Maybe that’s why that it didn’t take much from Steve to get Bucky to try one of his classes. A HIIT class. _At 6.30 am_.

Bucky tied up his hair as Steve walked around the room, setting things up to his liking, after the warm up, the regular participants talking among themselves as they waited. Bucky would feel intimidated if he wasn’t still half asleep. Most of these people looked like they did this for a living, and there Bucky was, bed hair, dark circles, and a body he just properly started to work on.

“So,” Steve’s clap got him out of his thoughts “How are we feeling this morning? Ready for some suffering?” he said brightly, which got a few cheers from the people around him and a muffed groan from Bucky.

“We got someone new with us today,” he gestured at Bucky, who gave an awkward wave to everyone, like a new kid in school. “We’re going for a lighter circuit, but like always, have your own rhythm, but don’t stop. That’s what breaks are for.”

Bucky watched Steve attentively, both because he wasn’t so bad to look at, but mostly because he knew exactly how to command the room. He had a relaxed stance, but he sounded firm in what he was saying. It was hard to look away, really.

“We’re doing a full minute in each station, rest for 15 seconds, and then another minute before we jump to the next station. A minute, fifteen seconds, another minute and onto the next.”

Okay, that didn’t sound so bad, Bucky could do that. And there were what? Eight stations? Sixteen minutes plus resting time. He’d be done in less than twenty minutes. How bad could it be?

Steve quickly explained what to do in each station, and with each demonstration of the exercise they would be doing, Bucky paled a bit. Okay, these were going to be the longest twenty minutes in his life. Bucky took a deeper breath and redid his ponytail slightly tighter to his head.

Jumping onto a box, squats with weights, jumping rope, jumping lunges, push ups, trunk twists, mountain climbers and burpees.

Bucky’s got it.

“Choose your stations, guys,” Steve called after going through them all with a quick explanation, walking to the speakers and picking up his phone, turning on some upbeat song. “You’ll hear a voice call the break times… You ready?”

Bucky stands in front of the Plyo box before turning to Steve and giving him a thumbs up, like the rest of the class did. He took a deep breath and looked back at the box. He could do this. Just a minute, and his thighs would thank him later.

“Go!” Steve shouted and he turned up the volume even louder.

The first few minutes were bearable. Jumpinging up and down got tiring very quickly, but the breaks helped, and going to the mountain climbers after gave his thighs a break. Overall, he thought he was a doing a good job. Steve only corrected him only once, on the way he jumped to the plyo so he wouldn’t fall back, and kept pushing him, and the rest of the people, on.

It was halfway through the circuit that Bucky started to struggle. He moved slower, his breathing was starting to get heavy, and he was slightly dizzy. He felt heat coming up from the pit of his stomach as he moved to the last exercise, the trunk twists.

Maybe it was too much exercise in one go. Maybe it was just Bucky that was out of shape. Maybe trunk twists were just really the devil. Whatever it was, it made bile rise up Bucky’s mouth, and before he knew, he was scrambling to get up and running to the locker room, pushing the first stall open and falling to his knees in front of the toilet.

Bucky had to admit, while he had hugged the toilet seat multiple times during his undergrad years, none of them felt as humiliating as this. Who even throws up as they work out? Bucky didn't think he was _that_ out of shape.

As there was nothing more to come out and Bucky was simply heaving, he slowly sat back against the side wall of the stall, resting his head back against the cool wall for a second. Bucky rubbed the back of his hand over his mouth, but that didn't take the taste of bile out of his mouth.

There was a knock against the metal door as Bucky had finally gathered the strength to flush the toilet. “Are you okay?” Steve sounded worried, but he didn’t peak into the stall, even if the door was slightly opened, which Bucky was thankful for.

“Mhm, mhm…” Bucky hummed, sitting back on the floor, resting his head back against the cold metal wall as he pushed his hair off his sweaty forehead. “I hate you.”

Steve laughed “If it makes you feel better, you’re not the first full grown man I’ve seen throw up after one of my classes. You’ve actually done great for the first time.”

Bucky nodded, rubbing his hands down his face, “That doesn’t make me feel much better... At least I didn’t go through the embarrassment of throwing up in front of you,” Bucky said weakly, rubbing the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to gather some strength to get up.

“Again, not something I haven’t seen,” Steve was waiting for Bucky right outside of the stall, resting a hand on his shoulder as soon as Bucky came out, “You okay?” the concern on his face was clear, and Bucky appreciated it.

Bucky nodded “Yeah, just need to splash some cold water on my face and brush my teeth like, ten times. Then I’ll be okay.”

Steve squeezed Bucky’s shoulder with a soft smile “You do that. Then stretch a bit and hit the showers. I will spare you the humiliation of coming back. Next time you’ll make it.” he said jokingly. Bucky would be more offended if he didn’t knew Steve meant no harm.

Still, he whined like a child, but walked up to the sinks, turning on the faucet and splashing his face with cold water. It did feel great and he was feeling less disgusting already. He really couldn’t wait until he got under the shower stream.

“See you in a bit.” Steve’s hand brushed against Bucky’s back lightly as he made his way back to the class he had abandoned to check on Bucky’s dumb ass. He waved him off, still hunched over the sink.

At this point, it wasn’t like Bucky had any chance with Steve. He never did, really, but he kept making an ass out of himself at any chance, lowering the odds of Steve ever looking at him as someone attractive. Sam would argue that he never did, with Bucky’s choice of workout clothes, but Bucky liked to think the man bun he had going on was hot.

After stretching the bare minimum and taking a quick cold shower, Bucky stopped by the reception desk, where Steve was folding some fresh towels for the clients to pick up before their workout.

“He lives!” Steve announced loudly, a wide grin on his face. He paced down the folded towel and leaned over the top of the desk.

“Ha ha aren’t you funny,” Bucky shook his head, embarrassed.

“Hey, I’m joking. You did really well,” the playful smile was still on his lips, but Steve had a way to be light hearted but honest at the same time. It was easy for Bucky to believe in him. “It was the first time you did something with such intensity, it’s totally normal.”

“Well, I’m gonna believe that, or else I wouldn’t step foot in here again.” Bucky warned, mirroring Steve’s smile.

“And we wouldn’t want that."

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head “We wouldn’t. Especially now that I’m starting to see some ab lines forming. So close to my goal.”

Steve winked playfully at Bucky. He did that an awful lot, but Bucky had seen him with other clients, he was just like that. He was nice and patient with everyone, but he was fun too. He always saw people coming out of a personal session with him with a wide smile and rosy cheeks. As someone who had worked out with him, he understood it.

Steve was someone that was easy to talk to, to have a good time with, so much you actually forget you’re working out. Before you know it, you doubled the weight of your deadlifts and your core is burning both from the workout and from Steve’s jokes.

Such a pity he’s the straightest guy Bucky had laid eyes on.

“So close. Now don’t go stuff your face with snacks while you study. I know that’s what you wanna do.” Steve warned with a pointed finger.

Bucky raised his hands in defense “Don’t worry. I’ll just nap when I get home. And then Sam might just bring me an healthy lunch.” he chuckled at Steve’s raised brow “A guy can hope. I probably have some chicken in the fridge.”

Steve laughed, before offering his closed fist. Bucky raised his and bumped them together “Alright, that’s all I can ask from you today.”

“Or any day.” Bucky pointed out, fixing the strap on his shoulder. “My bed calls me.”

Steve nodded “Good rest. Will I see you in two days? Same time?” he asked, challenge behind his words. He knew now that Bucky never backed down from a challenge.

Bucky stared at him for a moment, before sighing dramatically. “See you in two days, Steve.”

The smile on Steve’s lips stretched even wider as he won. He waved Bucky goodbye as he started to move towards the exit “See you, Buck.”

Bucky did come back next Thursday. And next Tuesday, as well as three to four other days of the week. Once he got the swing of it, keeping up the gym schedule he had set for himself was easy. He had classes, he had his naps, he ate, and he went to the gym. He was feeling much more active, and he would go as far as to admit he might have been sleeping better and longer. Sometimes Bucky has to chug down a couple of espresso shots to actually keep his eyes open for long enough to finish his readings and projects.

Going to the gym has started to give Bucky some sort of routine that he didn’t have before. Sam says it’s the hots for Steve that changed Bucky, but he isn’t that delusional. While it’s impossible to deny he’s attracted to Steve, Bucky knows he has no chance there. Besides, they formed a weird friendship that feels more than strictly gym business, and he’s happy with that.

If Bucky shows up during the extra dead hours in the early morning, Steve works out with him, and Bucky isn’t sure his abs hurt more because of the russian twists or Steve’s impersonation of Thor. It’s even more fun on the few mornings Sam joins them and the three of them joke around during their workouts, creating a little team that Bucky didn’t know could work so well together.

Sam and Steve get along like a house on fire, and sometimes Bucky has to keep his jealousy in check. Sam is his best friend, and Steve is his gym buddy, and watching both of them interacting excitedly about muscles and theoretical things Bucky should know, but fell asleep during his undergrad anatomy classes, made him feel left out sometimes. It didn’t last long, Bucky was a full grown adult and he was never actually pushed aside when the three of them were together. He actually learned a few things hearing them talk, specially about muscle recovery.

It was a friendship Bucky wasn’t expecting to gain by simply going to the gym, but that he was glad he had. Steve was a fun guy to be around, that never made Bucky feel stupid for having no idea what he was doing. He was easy to talk to about anything, from video games, to food, to early 2000’s sitcoms Bucky had a soft spot for.

They got to the point where Steve just casually sits on Bucky’s back while he makes him do push ups. Bucky fails miserably, both because Steve is heavier than he seems and because _he has Steve on his back._ But they laugh as soon as Bucky can fill his lungs with air, after it being knocked out of him, and he has recently been able to actually do a full push up before falling to the floor with Steve’s full weight on him.

It’s fun, and it makes working out feeling less of a chore and more of an hobbie. He goes there, improves his health, his physique, and he has a great time. What if he had a crush on Steve and seeing him nearly daily wasn’t helping it? That was simply marinating in the back of Bucky’s mind, thankfully, and didn’t really matter.        

_***_

Today was a good day. There were fresh sheets on Bucky’s bed, his muscles were comfortably loose after a gym session that morning where Steve wasn’t particularly pushy, and he got the apartment all for himself. Sam was out on a date and there were no prospects of him coming earlier than the sunrise, so why not make the best out of the stars aligning and actually have some fun? There was no research to be done, or articles to be read for the next couple of days, Bucky could actually afford a night off.

Okay, maybe Sam had been right when he said Bucky wasn’t getting any, but it wasn’t like Bucky was trying and not being lucky. He just wasn’t searching, or giving it much of a thought. Bucky had things to do, places to be, and if going on a date or hooking up took time out of his research and from his classes, then he wasn’t interested, simple as that. He wasn’t turning down possible suitors, but he wasn’t throwing himself out there.

Was he lonely sometimes? Yes, of course. Everyone enjoys a warm body next to them every now and then, even Bucky, but that didn’t keep him up all night. Bucky had time to date when he got his life figured out. In the meantime, he’ll make do of his loneliness with quick dates and even quicker hookups. Time management, fuck you, Wilson.

Bucky threw himself on those fresh sheets after taking a shower, hair still damp and towel around his waist, grabbing his phone and opening up his Tinder app. He was in the mood to have a conversation, maybe even a light dinner or drinks before bringing the guy back. That’s what Tinder is for. Grindr is for blind hookups.

Yet, that’s where he ends up not even twenty minutes later.

Bucky shouldn’t be picky, really, not when he is looking for a one-night-only thing, but there’s so much stupid pickup lines he can deal with. His penis is not going anywhere near some guy that uses _“Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it”_ as an opening, or pretentious bios, and definitely not another Queer Eye wannabe host talking about Bucky’s hair.

Is it so hard to just find another guy who just wants to have some fun for a night, no strings attached?

Swiping through the grid of faceless guys, Bucky sighs dramatically and just goes totally shallow and chooses a random guy whose pic of a toned torso catches his eye. He doesn’t care if this guy makes unfunny jokes, or can’t hold a conversation. At this point Bucky just really wants someone under him and he’s not being super picky, and he wouldn’t mind said someone being this guy over here.

He scans quickly through his bio, not wanting to get discouraged, but wanting to go in slightly more informed than assuming this guy’s name is Roger and has nice abs. He’s apparently slightly taller than Bucky and likes dogs, so Bucky clicks on the message icon and just writes something he hopes is read as flirty and straight to the point, but not obviously crass.

**JB**

**_9.12pm_ ** _Nice abs, wouldn't mind licking them_

**Roger.That**

**_9.13pm_ ** _Nice back, wouldn't mind digging my nails in it_

The instant reply stirs something in Bucky, tugging at the corner of his lips, and maybe the night isn’t completely lost as of now. He turns on his stomach, sliding back to the guy’s profile, looking at the only picture he had to display to get Bucky inspired for a reply. He let his eyes trail along this guy’s lines, humming appreciatively, before stopping at a little spot the guy has near his hip. It’s oval shaped, with an irregular outline, and clearly visible contrasted with the fair skin surrounding it.

That little mark is enough to make Bucky hesitate, because he knows exactly who it belongs to. What if that knowledge came from thirsty looks at Steve when he lifts his shirt to clean sweat from his face, or when he takes his hoodie off and his undershirt happens to ride up? He knows that mark belongs to Gym Steve and suddenly he’s not really interested anymore.

That doesn’t stop him from giving this fraud a piece of his mind.

**JB**

**_9.16pm_ ** _What the hell?_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.16pm_ ** _??_

 

**JB**

**_9.16pm_ ** _It’s 2018 dude, haven’t you seen enough Catfish episodes to know this fools absolutely no one?_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.17pm_ ** _?? What do you mean_

 

**JB**

**_9.17pm_ ** _Those are not your pictures_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.17pm_ ** _They certainly are. I grew those abs myself_

Bucky huffed as he read the message. The audacity of these people. They’re blatantly lying and they don’t give a damn.

 

**JB**

**_9.19pm_ ** _Sure and I was born yesterday_

 **_9.19pm_ ** _Look I know the guy that picture belongs to_

 **_9.19pm_ ** _I'm sure he wouldn’t appreciate his private pics being used to deceive dudes on a hook up app_

 **_9.20pm_ ** _Identity theft is a crime_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.22pm_ ** _I appreciate it, but it’s really me, it’s Steve_

 **_9.22pm_ ** _Who r u?_

 

**JB**

**_9.23pm_ ** _That’s why you’re calling yourself Roger on Grindr? I’m on my second Masters, I’m not stupid_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.23pm_ ** _It’s my last name???? Steve Rogers??? Who are you?_

 

**JB**

**9.23pm** ….

 **_9.24pm_ ** _Send me a picture of your face._

 **_9.24pm_ ** _With three fingers ups. So you don’t steal a selfie or smt._

He saw dots pop up on the screen, probably another excuse, before they disappeared. A few seconds later, he got what he asked for. Bucky’s eyes widened as the picture of Steve with three fingers up and a confused raise of his brow popped on the screen. He sat up, running a hand through his hair as he stared a the photo, not really believing what he was seeing.

Gym Steve on Grindr? Did he die and go to heaven... or hell?

There was no way the straightest dude Bucky has ever met is actually on a gay hooking up app. Absolutely no way. And he makes sure to express his thoughts, quickly typing back, ignoring Steve’s question of who he was messaging with again.

**JB**

**_9.27pm_ ** _why are you on Grindr????!!!_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.27pm_ ** _Why not? I’m just messing around_

 

**JB**

**_9.28pm_ ** _i thought someone was catfishing me wtf???_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.29pm_ ** _Who. Are. You???????_

Bucky bit his lip, wondering if he should just take his chance and delete that conversation and hope Steve never figures out it’s him. He doesn’t know JB stands for James Barnes, mostly because he doesn’t know Bucky’s actual name is James. Bucky is also barely recognizable on his profile picture, especially since it’s an old one, when he still had short hair and it’s a shot from the back, where he has absolutely no identifying marks.

Maybe he can just pretend this never happened and keep going as if he hasn’t seen his gym buddy’s abs on Grindr. If he figures out it’s Bucky, he’ll just end his membership and move to New York earlier, where Steve would never find him and Bucky would save himself from the embarrassment. Steve is doing this as a joke, he’s straight and there was no reason for Bucky’s cock to twitch with hope.

But there was no reason to come up with some master plan of moving states because Bucky sends back a picture of himself flipping off the camera. Grab the bull by its horns right?

 **Roger.That**  

 **_9.34pm_ ** _BUCKY?_

 **_9.34pm_ ** _Since when you have short hair?_

 **_9.34pm_ ** _Why are you a fan of Justin Bieber?_

 **_9.34pm_ ** _Or the Jonas Brothers?_

 **_9.34pm_ ** _Joan Bennett?!!!_

 

**JB**

**_9.35pm_ ** _They’re my initials..._

 **_9.36pm_ ** _The Jonas Brothers were a bop back in the days tho_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.37pm_ ** _???? Who has Bucky as their last name?_

 

**JB**

**_9.37pm_ ** _No one, hopefully_

 **_9.37pm_ ** _My name is James Barnes_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.37pm_ ** _……_

 **_9.38pm_ ** _Where do you get Bucky from that?_

 **_9.38pm_ ** _IS BUCKY YOUR STRIPPER NAME?_

 **_9.38pm_ ** _Or was it a fake name to make sure I wasn’t another gym weirdo? I work there??_

 

**JB**

**_9.39pm_ ** _Buchanan is my middle name_

 **_9.39pm_ ** _My sister used to call me Bucky when she heard my mom yell out my full name_

 **_9.40pm_ ** _Couldn’t talk properly and would laugh at it. It stuck_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.42pm_ ** _Cute_

 **_9.42pm_ ** _James Buchanan Barnes_

 **_9.42pm_ ** _Now I know what to yell out when I see you butchering squats again_

 

**JB**

**_9.44pm_ ** _Stfu dude, they’re tiring_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.44pm_ ** _Hey, you were the one saying you wanted stronger thighs_

 **_9.44pm_ ** _Think of all the thigh pics you can put here ;)_

 

**JB**

**_9.45pm_ ** _Stooooop_

 **_9.45pm_ ** _This is weird._

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.47pm_ ** _Why?_

 

**JB**

**_9.48pm_ ** _Idk it’s weird_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.50pm_ ** _678-136-7092_

 **_9.50pm_ ** _If it makes it less weird for you_

 

**JB**

**_9.51pm_ ** _You’re not going to send me healthy tips every other hour, right?_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.52pm_ ** _I don’t send unsolicited health tips._

 **_9.52pm_ ** _Or any other tips._

 

**JB**

**_9.54pm_ ** _Good, I already have Sam and my mom judging me through text._

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.45pm_ ** _They sound like good people to have around. They care._

 

**JB**

**_9.46pm_ ** _Yeah, not having a conversation about my mom or Sam on grindr_

 

**Roger.That**

**_9.47pm_ ** _That’s fair_

 **_9.48pm_ ** _You got my number just hit me up whenever, Buck_

 

**JB**

**_9.51pm_ ** _Yeah, yeah, see you on your death class Tuesday_

Bucky threw his phone to the opposite end off his bed, before rolling onto his back, covering his face and groaning loudly. This was a good day. Fresh laundry, a roommate-free apartment, his hair was deeply conditioned and he was going to get some tonight. Bucky was getting laid tonight and he wasn’t anymore because good looking gym Steve decided to be on Grindr for fun and ruin Bucky’s night.

He saw some abs, he was excited to be in their proximity, and they had to belong to the one guy in that entire forsaken app that wasn’t actually there to get down and dirty, just to joke around and get a poor guy’s hopes up. He rather have been catfished.

“Just my fucking luck,” Bucky sighed, spreading out on the bed and glaring at the ceiling. He had no interest in finding another guy to have over, not when he had pictured spending the night with those abs.

No, Bucky wasn’t going through the swiping process again, but he wasn’t going to waste these freshly washed sheets and half hard boner. Shame will be tomorrow Bucky’s problem.

_Fuck you, Steve Rogers._

_***_

“Morning, James,” Steve’s shit eating grin welcomes Bucky the following Tuesday as he walks up to the reception desk.

Bucky raised a finger to stop him from going on “Stop. Only my mom and my sister call me James,”

Steve laughed way too brightly for the time of the morning it was “I thought your sister came up with Bucky.”

“She did. Then everyone called me Bucky and she went back to James,” Bucky explained, shaking his head. Okay, he could do this.  As long as they ignored the fact they had talked on Grindr, Bucky didn’t have to be remembered of the fact that he had masturbated to the guy that is right now standing in front of him. He could have this conversation without blushing, stuttering, or getting hard.

“Sounds like a sibling thing to do,”

“You got any?” Bucky asked, trying to keep the conversation going so it wouldn’t end up turning awkward.

“Nah, only child. But just sounds like something a sibling would do,” Steve shrugged softly.

“Lucky you, man. They're a nightmare,” Bucky joked but quickly his smile fell. While his sister was a pain in the ass most of the time, Bucky loved her more than anything else, and it felt wrong to say that when she's been through so much. “But they're your pain in the ass. You can't help but love them,” he nodded, a little sad smile on his lips.

“I'd actually love to have a brother or a sister,” Steve confessed, resting his chin on his hand “Only child of an only child. Just me and my 'ma.”

Bucky nodded “Sometimes having one amazing person in your life is enough; and I'm sure you make friends easily. You know, unless you immediately invite them to take one of your classes.” he joked

Steve laughed, the corner of his eyes wrinkling “Well, it did no damage to our friendship.”

“Bold of you to think you're my friend when you've made me throw up.” Bucky raised a brow with a pointed look.

Steve waved it off with a light hearted laugh “It only means it could get better from then.”

Bucky chuckled, looking at Steve as he quickly organized the front desk, filing some loose papers and throwing away what looked like an empty yoghurt cup. It was 6 in the morning and Steve looked awake, bright, and Bucky thought about what happened two night ago.

It really was a pity Steve was just messing around Grindr. Not that it meant Bucky had a chance. He looked much different than the old pictures he had on his profile and Steve constantly sees him with dark circles and messy hair. Steve was attractive, there was no denying it and Bucky was sure he was less jealous of his abs and and more into touching them, but he was also a genuinely nice guy. He was understanding, patient, and had a wicked humor, and there Bucky was, fantasizing about him.

Not to mention, he was way over Bucky's league, but a guy could dream, right?

“Bucky?”

Bucky snapped out of it, looking confusedly at Steve, “Mhm?”

“I said you should go get changed. Warm up before I make you rethink this whole getting up thing,” he repeated.

“Oh, yeah.” Bucky nodded and picked up his gym bag “I was thinking about new ways to curse your name.” He joked, swinging the strap over his shoulder.

Steve chuckled, nodding “Can't wait to hear them.”

“See you in a bit,” Bucky nodded and headed over to the locker room, cursing himself for acting like a silly teen, but glad the first talk after the Grindr accident wasn't as awkward as he had pictured. They were cool.

_***_

“I need your help!”

Steve jumped behind the front desk as Bucky placed his laptop down in front of him  “It’s four in the morning Bucky, what are you doing here in your pajamas?” He got up from his chair and gave Bucky a confused look over, before even looking at the computer screen shoved in his face.

Bucky was quickly clicking away into several folders, opening up documents, projections and 3D models “I’m working and I can’t get over this problem,” he said, not moving his eyes away from his computer screen, his hand reaching to put some stray hairs behind his ear “and the deadline is way too close for me to push this to after I’ve had some sleep.”

“Okay…” Steve was confused, but he looked amused at Bucky’s antics “and how can I help you get you some peaceful sleep? You know, besides suggesting a good workout. You’re already here,” he suggested with a playful grin and a shrug.

Bucky paused, looking at Steve for a moment, before giving a sarcastic laugh “Good try, but this time I actually need your brains.”

Steve’s eyes widened as Bucky showed him his whole prosthetic plan. While Steve found all the mechanics and wiring too confusing and way out of his field of expertise, he could see in theory how it could function. The joints looked flexible enough to mimic human movement, the fingers so amazingly detailed they almost looked real if they weren’t made of informatic metal. “Woah…”

“Yeah, pretty impressive, but it’s totally outdated,” brushing off compliments was easy for Bucky, specially when he knew the final piece was nowhere near as perfect as it should be “Look,” he said, showing Steve how the prosthetic would move through the animation..

On the screen, the fake appendix moved gracefully, the elbow extending, the wrist twisting to either side, the fingers curling. Steve wouldn’t know he was looking at a prosthetic model if Bucky hadn’t told him about it before. It looked like a very realistic animation, with no trace of the robotic movement Steve would expect from all the prosthetics he had seen. “I’m looking...”

Bucky watched Steve’s face for a moment before sighing and pointing exactly where the blond should be focusing on “Can’t you really see it?”

“See what?” Steve raised a brow at Bucky, before looking at where he was pointing, “I see some hypertension there but that’s to be expected from a prosthetic.”

“It shouldn’t be expected. I’m trying to get full movement range,” Bucky shook his head

“Okay.. and how are you planning on fixing it?” Steve simply stated. He was clearly trying to get Bucky to talk it out himself, but Bucky wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t already tried to do that.

“Well…” Bucky rubbed at the back of his neck “I was hoping you could help me with it. You know, fitness degree and all. You probably have better anatomy knowledge than me.

“I thought Sam was a physical therapist…”

“He also promised to kill me painfully if I ever woke him up in the middle of the night with my-”

“So I’m your second choice,” Steve raised a brow, his arms crossing over his chest, making his shoulders look wider than they already were. The corner of his lip was upturned and it gave him away, though.

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head “Definitely not. You’ve improved my shitty posture so much I no longer have to beg Sam for one of his licensed massages to fix me up. In my book, you’re preventing mistakes while Sam fixes them.” he pointed out “I need you to prevent my mock up from failing completely.”

Steve stared at Bucky for a few moments, before pulling the computer closer to him, turning his attention to the prosthetic in front of him “Or what?”

“Or I won’t be able to submit it. The deadline is in ten hours and for some reason it decided to  fail up on me right on the home stretch.” Bucky sighed, resting his chin against the top of the tall desk.

Steve hummed, clearly listening, but keeping his attention on the computer screen, “I thought spending most of your life in school had taught you not to leave everything to the last minute.”

“You think I would do something like this for a class? I would second guess doing this for my thesis.” Bucky sighed dramatically, running a hand through his messy hair. Bucky was completely disheveled, but that wasn’t much different from the way he ended up his workouts. Only now there’s dark circles under his eyes, as he hadn’t slept in a little over twenty four hours, trying to tweak up a few details on his mock up. He wasn’t expecting to mess up the whole thing at 4 in the morning.

Steve paused, looking over at Bucky “Then why are you doing something this detailed?” he asked, clearly curious.

“Stark Internship.” Bucky said, before remembering Steve wasn’t Sam and wasn’t sick of hearing about that internship. “You know, Tony Stark. High tech stuff.” he waved it off “Snagging one of those would basically kick start my career.”

“Yeah, I know who Tony Stark is. I’m from Brooklyn, that ugly building could be seen from my bedroom window.” Steve gave a small laugh before turning back to the computer screen “Makes sense, though. I know nothing ‘bout robotics, but this sounds complex enough to get you some attention.

Bucky looked up at Steve, raising a brow. He studied his face as he tried to figure out how he never realised Steve was a New Yorker. Bucky had noticed the slight accent in his voice, but it never lasted long enough for Bucky to be able to place. Now that he mentioned it, he could see it clearly. He also figured out Steve’s love of bagels as a post shift snack.

“You never told me you’re from New York.”

Steve glanced back at Bucky “You also never told me where you’re from.”

“Why don’t you think I’m from DC?” Bucky asked, challenging. He had to give it to Steve, though, they never really talked about their childhoods or family. They kept their conversations light and casual because they were in a space where it would feel weird talking about anything more deep. Bucky did know Steve’s favourite food was his mother’s pecan pie, though.

Steve raised a brow, a small, victorious smile on his lips “No one is from DC. I just didn’t figure out where you’re from. I’m thinking Midwest, though.”

“I’m impressed. It’s a good guess.” Bucky nodded, “Indiana.”

“Indiana? I wasn’t that far off,” Steve laughed, before tapping Bucky’s arm repetitively until he got him to look at the screen “Here. You can overlap the joints on the elbow.” Steve said as he pointed to the screen, around the places where Bucky could change things.

Bucky got closer to the screen, squinting his eyes. His face was close to Steve’s as they both looked intensely at the robotic arm on display. After a moment, Bucky straightened up and pulled the computer closer to him, opening a few tabs and starting to add the changes Steve suggested. If it worked, he really didn’t have much more to do than setting it all up to be submitted.

As Bucky worked, his fingers moving quickly on the keyboard, Steve watched him in awe. Bucky figured it was the same look he gave Steve he saw him working out, _really working out_ , his body displaying best of the human form. Lifting double Bucky’s weight was as impressive as altering an intricate digitalization of a fully functioning robotic arm.

After a few more silent moments, where the only thing that could be heard was the bass of whatever song was being played over the speakers, Bucky threw his arms up and let out a loud ”Yes!”

Steve’s smile widened at that “Yeah? You got it?”

Bucky nodded, quickly saving the changes, before his battery died or something. At this point he couldn’t be too careful. “You were right. The motion is so much smoother now, it’s exactly how I wanted it.” he turned to Steve and quickly pulled him into a hug over the top of the desk “I can’t thank you enough, man.” he said as he leaned back and closed his lap top.

It took a few moments to register what he had done, but Bucky was sleep deprived and ecstatic, and Steve’s smile was making the corner of his eyes crinkle, so it wasn’t like it was an awkward moment. He didn’t even give much thought over the fact he now knew Steve’s shoulders were as comfortable as they looked.

“You’re welcome, glad I could help.” Steve said softly

“You literally saved my life. I just might just try your Body Combat class next.”

“Sure,” Steve laughed “I’ll be happy as long as you keep coming to HIIT.”

Bucky nodded, picking up his laptop and placing it under his arm “I will. As soon as this is submitted and I sleep for at least 24 hours.” he promised, crossing his heart as he slowly made his way backwards towards the exit.

Steve nodded, that bright smile blinding Bucky for a moment “Then see you in thirty hours? Give or take?”

“Give or take,” Bucky nodded, before waving and pushing the door open,  quickly making his way up the street back home, ready to finishing Becca’s arm and submitting it to Stark Industries before the deadline was over.

_***_

The call came less than two weeks after.

Bucky knew the waiting time could be well over a month, as he had read in several online forums, so he tried to focus on school and on fixing his messed up sleeping schedule before the month was over and he could start to freak out about not getting an answer. Not getting an email was also a good omen, so Bucky had a good couple of weeks after submitting his project.

He really wasn’t expecting the call he got in the middle of a tutoring session with a freshman, but he picked up the call, and thank God he did. He might have had to cut the tutoring short, and he might have spent way too much on booze on his way home, but got an interview at Stark fucking Tower in two days, he had to celebrate.

Sam had been confused with the amount of liquor on their kitchen countertop, but as soon as Bucky told him the good news, he hugged him so tightly, he actually lifted Bucky off the ground “Dude! No way!! I knew you’d get it.”

“I haven’t got it yet, just an interview,” Bucky chuckled, shaking his head, but he was beaming. It was just an interview, but if it went well, it could be the start of the rest of his life.

Sam waved it off, immediately pouring them both a glass of cheap champagne “Nah, man, you half ass a lot of things, but not this. I’m proud of you.” he said, giving Bucky his glass and clinking them together “You’re gonna rock that interview.”

Bucky grinned widely “I’m gonna rock that interview.” he nodded, before downing his own.

_***_

Maybe taking the train in the middle of the night wasn’t Bucky’s smartest idea, but when did he make good decisions? He didn’t, and that’s why his Penn Station bound train arrived at six in the morning and Bucky still had at least four more hours to kill, read _stress,_ before his interview at Stark Tower. It really wasn’t his fault when he was given a two day notice and it was right around the time he had to meet his a few of his teachers to talk about his current school projects. He couldn’t miss those meetings, but neither could he skip on this opportunity.

As soon as he had stepped foot out of campus, Bucky had grabbed dinner from his favourite chinese restaurant on his way home and ironed his best suit as he went over all the questions they might ask him. The middle of the night train was the only way he could get to New York on time. Bucky even managed to nap a bit, lulled by the soft rocking of the train.

Now he just had to make time until his interview, before he could take the train back home and sleep the adrenaline away. He just just a few more hours until he had most important interview of his life, and then he could exhale.

The station was starting to get some movement, people coming in and out of their morning commute, and it felt nothing like DC. Bucky would have to get used to all the tourists and New Yorkers in a hurry if he actually got this internship.

Yet, it was nothing he couldn’t deal with after living in DC for the past decade. You just trade the diplomats and suited guys for tourists.

Bucky stuffed his hands on his pockets and started moving towards the smell of freshly brewed coffee that was coming from one of the several booths spread over the main lobby of the station. He needed a cup if he planned on surviving the next few hours.

As he was deciding on which one to go for, his phone vibrated, and he quickly pulled out, unlocking the screen with his thumb. He had received a text.

**Gym Steve**

**_6.14am_ ** _Hey, you okay?_

Bucky cursed as he read the message. In the rush to get on the to New York, he completely forgot he promised he’d go to Steve’s class that morning. Missing it wasn’t a big deal, but it had become part of Bucky’s routine. He might not have his sleep schedule down, but two times a week he shows up on that gym at an ungodly hour to voluntarily nearly die. The other days were already part of his daily routine. Even if Steve’s not really worried, knowing he noticed Bucky wasn’t there wasn’t a bad feeling at all.

Before Bucky could reply, another message dropped in.

**Gym Steve**

**_6.14am_ ** _Don’t say you had a long night, you’re not getting rid of this._

 

**Me**

**_6.15am_ ** _I’ve actually slept. Somewhat._

Bucky replied as he finally chose the booth closer to him and ordered a macchiato, thinking the less coffee and more milk he had would help with his nerves. The cup was quickly placed on his hand and Bucky walked over to a bench to sit down and text Steve without having to worry about bumping into someone and spilling his coffee on his good suit.

**Gym Steve**

**_6.15am_ ** _Don’t you live down the street? I have time before the class to run there and drag you over._

 **_6.16am_ ** _Don’t think I won’t._

 

**Me**

**_6.17am_ ** _Not doubting you, Steve. Your plan just wouldn’t work_

 **_6.17am_ ** _I’m in New York_

 **_6.18am_ ** _Though if you insist, I’m sure you’d be able to drag Sam to your murder class_

 

**Gym Steve**

**_6.19am_ ** _… Are you pulling my leg or?_

 **_6.19am_ ** _Do I even want to know?_

Bucky couldn’t help but smile at that, taking a sip from his coffee cup before replying.

 

**Me**

**6.20am** _Got an interview @ Stark Tower_

 

**Gym Steve**

**_6.20am_ ** _ARE YOU KIDDING ME?_

 **_6.21am_ ** _Bucky!_

 **_6.21am_ ** _Did u get it?_

 **_6.21am_ ** _Bucky! That’s great!_

 **_6.21am_ ** _!!!!!_

 

**Me**

**_6.22am_ ** _Relax, I’m only going in for an interview. They could still hate me._

 

**Gym Steve**

**6.23am** _As long as you had some shut eye and aren’t running on coffee, they’ll love you!_

 **6.24am** _Dude, I’m so happy for you, I knew you’d get it!_

 **6.28am** _BRB gotta go make some people wish they hadn’t gotten out of bed this morning._

 **6.29am** _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

**Me**

**_6.30am_ ** _Can’t say I’m sad I’m missing it._

Bucky smiled at his phone before he stored it back into his blazer, picking up his cup and getting up, making his way out of the station. The sun was starting to raise, the city surrounded by soft light.

He could see himself staying up too late and seeing this sunrise often.

Bucky slapped himself mentally for a second. He couldn’t be overly confident about this. Okay, he had the interview secured, but they could totally hate him, or think he wasn’t right for this project. He’s second guessing actually placing his past employer on his CV.

It had been a long while since he had been to New York, but Bucky wasn’t worried about getting lost on his way to Stark Tower. He was already in Midtown, and he could see that tall monstrosity as soon as he stepped out of the train station, so he decided to walk around the neighbourhood to kill time. Maybe find some place nice to have breakfast and sit down before he had to go up and make the best first impression he ever had to.

He glanced at his watch and figured Steve would be nearly over with his class, so shot him a quick text.

**Me**

**_7.05am_ ** _Any breakfast spot in midtown you recommend, yankee?_

 **_7.06am_ ** _Hopefully open at this ungodly hour?_

It took a few minutes of Bucky walking around, but soon he got his reply. He laughed as soon as he opened the message, shaking his head fondly.

**Gym Steve**

**_7.15am_ ** _I should ignore you after calling me that._

 **_7.16am_ ** _Friedmans. Google the address_

 **_7.16am_ ** _Amazing eggs, but my favourite are the pancakes. Caramel syrup._

 

**Me**

**_7.18am_ ** _I’ll get back to you with my review later._

 

**Gym Steve**

_**_7.18_ ** _GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR INTERVIEW_ _

_***_

Bucky fiddled with his tie as he nervously waited to be called up for his interview. All he wanted to do at that moment was to take it off and pop the first few buttons of his shirt to relieve some of the nervousness he was feeling. If he hadn’t sweat through his shirt at this point, Bucky would be impressed.

He had been fine, really. He slept through most of the train ride, he had breakfast, he even managed to sight-see the city as he walked to the Stark Tower. All had been fine until the moment Bucky sat down at that waiting room. The penny dropped only there, as he waited for the most important interview of his life.

Bucky went through all his files again, making sure that he brought everything he needed. He had checked it multiple times already, but going through months of hard work and knowing he got to this point because of it, it calmed Bucky down. He had this in the bag. He was charming, he had a well rounded project, he was going to ace this interview. He had it.

“James Barnes?”

Bucky quickly slapped close his manila file as he heard his name being called out. He was so focused on trying to calm down he missed the previous expectant interviewee getting out. Now he had Pepper Potts in front of him. Tony Stark’s right hand woman, basically the one running Stark Industries at this point, with her perfectly pushed back hair and designer business dress.

Bucky knew he would be interviewed by a higher up when he was directed to the top floors, maybe HR, but Pepper Potts? Yeah, Bucky wasn’t mentally prepared for that.

Still, he quickly picked up his bag and walked up to her, giving her a firm handshake “That would be me. It’s a pleasure to meet you and to have this opportunity.” he managed to speak out without sounding too stunned. Way to go, Bucky.

“Pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Barnes. Would you follow me inside?” She gave him a cordial smile before motioning into the office behind her and quickly leading the way inside, her stride confident but natural.

Bucky nodded, taking the time she had her back turned to him to collect himself, closing the door behind him and walking up to the chair in front of the sleek desk. It was a simple change of plans. He wasn’t going to try to charm his way into this internship through the head of HR, just no other than Pepper Potts. No need to freak out.

Bucky sat down and quickly fixed the lapels of his suit, smoothing out any visible wrinkle, as she went through something on her computer. Bucky picked his file before offering it to her. “I’m sure you already have all my information, but I brought a copy in paper. Easier to go through.”

She looked at Bucky with a little smirk, reaching to grab the file, quickly opening it and getting the stack of papers out “We’re trying to go greener here at Stark Industries,” she admitted, “but I got to admit, nothing is better than paper files. Headaches at this job are inevitable, but if I can delay them at least after 11 am, it’s a good day.”

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh slightly at that, before he got his professional stance back on. He could feel some of those nerves quickly melting away as he realized maybe Pepper Potts wouldn’t be so ruthless with him.

Bucky knew he could be confident. He knew he was when he was sure about what he was speaking. He got a job at Hydra and while their attention came primarily from his scholar achievements, he still nailed the mandatory interview. He got to this point because whoever was reviewing the thousand of projects sent for the Stark internships thought he was worth it, so he could be confident, he had all the reasons to.

After the initial awkwardness and surprise by having Pepper Potts in front of him, Bucky quickly fell into conversation, answering all the questions she presented, talking about his academic path, his past experience, everything that could give him an advantage and make himself remembered.

“And I think that kind of experience-”

“Why isn’t J.A.R.V.I.S. letting me in my shop and pointing at you as the culprit?”

Bucky quickly shut up as the office door opened and none other than Anthony Stark came in like he owned the place. Which he did, but still, it was the middle of Bucky’s most important interview in his life. He was already stressing out, he didn’t need to have the face of Stark Industries in the room with him while he tried to charm his right hand.

“J.A.R.V.I.S. is just reminding you that you have more to do than play with your toys all day long.” Pepper Potts, unfazed as always, goes through Bucky’s papers, while Bucky is trying not to let his jaw fall to the floor as he looks between them.

“We have the interviews for the top choices for _your_ internship program, Tony.” she simply extends Buck’s file towards Stark, who sighs dramatically and walks over to her, grabbing the file and sitting on the desk.

“I guess since I’m here I can give it a look,”

“James Barnes, Sir.” Bucky finally finds his voice and extends his hand.

“Yeah, pleasure to meet you and all that” Stark waved his hand off as he scanned through Bucky’s file, and Bucky could almost swear he mumbled an “ _impressive_ ” under his breath.

The room was silent and it was hard not to fidget, but Bucky tried to keep himself calm and poised as Tony Stark read through his blueprints. Not even having a teacher look over your shoulder as you write for an exam was this stressful.

Pepper Potts was leaning back against her chair, watching Tony patiently, as if this whole situation was normal occurrence around there. Maybe it was, Bucky wouldn’t be surprised.

“Who’s this?” Stark asks.

“Uhm.. my project?” Bucky answered, turning to Ms. Potts with a questioning look. He had heard of Tony Stark’s eccentrics, but Bucky’s just confused at this point. What? Does he think Bucky names his projects? Thinks of them as real things? He read somewhere Stark is that kind of weirdo.

Tony Stark just rolls his eyes and waves the papers in his hand “This prosthetic. It’s way too detailed to be a simple project. It shows commitment, but also a weird knowledge of the person who would use this,” he ran back through the pages “Unless your imagination is incredibly fertile, you actually created it with someone in your mind… girlfriend?” Stark tried.

Bucky ducked his head, clearly having been caught, “Sister…” he mumbled, before looking up at, hopefully, his future boss “My sister lost her arm in a… she’s army.” he decides to say instead. Not a lie, but project Insight was still somewhat confidential and Bucky couldn’t just blabber his mouth. Especially not to Tony Stark.

“And you worked for Hydra before?”

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek but tried to school his expression, “Yes.”

“Did you happen to work for Project Insight?” Tony asked, like it had been the only thing he had wanted to ask after scanning through Bucky’s resume “You have an impressive track record, wouldn’t be surprised you’d be in such a project.”

Bucky held Stark’s gaze for a moment, before looking down at his nervous hands smoothing out his jacket. He could get away with lying, his name wasn’t out for the pubic, and there was no way Bucky was about to sabotage himself right now. “I can’t… It’s classified.” Shut up, Bucky, goddamn. “But.. yes, I worked on it.” he gave in. If he was brave enough to have added Hydra as his former employer and he still got this interview, maybe admitting, albeit aware of the several NDA’s he had signed, wasn’t going to cost him the internship. “Just another engineer, I didn’t call the shots or anything, but I was heavily involved.” Bucky explained, before sighing and nervously running one of his hands through his hair. “My sister was one of the test subjects. Came back for her tour and wanted to do something different-”

“You feel guilty… I know what that feels like.” Tony Stark interrupted before Bucky could go on. “Do you know why I started to work in the prosthetics business?”

Bucky frowned for a moment before getting himself together. This was a very important interview. “I’d say Colonel Rhodes, sir? It is known he’s a close friend of yours”

“Best friend. Pain in the ass, though.” Tony admitted with a lighthearted chuckle “Anyway, I know what guilt looks like.”

“I just want to help her, Mr. Stark. She was barely compensated for the accident, I know her prosthetic bothers her and it’s not very… functional.” Bucky knew how veterans struggled. How they came back to civilian life and had nothing but physical scars and mental issues. Seeing his sister, though, with a prosthetic that barely made her look normal, much less help actually be normal human being, it broke his heart. She was barely 23 and she struggled to style her hair.

Tony Stark’s smile was kind, the wrinkles in the corner of his eyes making him seem even more sympathetic. “You have drive, kid. Sometimes we don’t need to want to save the world, just one person.” then, completely breaking the moment, gets up from the table and places Bucky’s files down. “I’ll get going. Good luck, we might talk again soon.” he said with a tiny salute.

As he moves to leave, he turns to Ms. Potts, who was still calmly resting back against her chair. “And Pepper, please unlock my shop.”

“We have two more interviews today, Tony.” She seems unbothered as she simply warns him.

“I trust your judgment better than mine,” he waved his fingers at her with a wink before he closed the door behind him, leaving in the office in death silence. Maybe just Bucky, who stared at the closed door for a few seconds.

She waves him off before getting her attention back to Bucky, acting like the last few minutes didn’t happen, professional as always “Back to our interview. Mr. Barnes, if you do get this internship, where do you see yourself in 3 years?”

And just like that they were back into professional interview mode. Bucky wasn’t even sure about how to take Tony Stark remarks, but quickly shook himself off and went back to the conversation. He had time to stress about what Tony Stark’s presence in his interview would affect the outcome. He didn’t insult Bucky or his project, so he was going to take it in a positive way. No matter what happened from then on, at least he could say Anthony Edward Stark, mechanics genius, thought Bucky’s work was impressive. That’s a win in anyone's book.

Before Bucky knew it, he was being led to the door, shaking Pepper Pott’s hand once again “We’ll get in contact with you Mr. Barnes. Though I’ll have to say, I was very impressed with your application. I’m sure Tony is as well.”

Bucky really was impressed how she juggled so well being professional while being approachable and laid back. He had been scared shitless when she showed up in front of him, but he was leaving that building with a newfound appreciation for her and feeling much better about the whole thing. “Thank you so much for this opportunity, Mrs. Potts. I hope to hear from you again.”

“Have a nice day, Mr. Barnes. Enjoy the city before you leave. The Mall has nothing on Central Park.” She smiled as she started walking to the waiting room, most likely to call in the next person to interview.

Bucky nodded with a small chuckle “I will. Thank you once again. Have a nice day.” he said before making his way to the elevator, nodding at the security guard standing there.

As he got inside and the doors closed, Bucky finally let out a long breath he had been holding since God knows when. Maybe since he started working on this, maybe just since he stepped foot on Stark Tower. Either way, he did it. There was nothing else he could do at this point but hope that giving his best would actually be enough this time.

He pulled out the hair tie he had secured his hair in this morning and popped his suit jacket open. Then he pulled out his tie and undid the top button on his shirt like he had been dying to do since he was waiting to be called in. The whole process was done and while it lifted a huge weight off his shoulders, it was finally undoing his whole business look that made it feel really over.    

Bucky leaned back against the back wall of the elevator as he stuffed his tie on his leather messenger bag and pulled out his phone from his pocket, immediately sending Sam several skull emojis. He then hovered over the name immediately under Sam’s, before selecting it and writing another message.

**Me**

**_11.13am_ ** _hey, yankee, give me a good burger place so I can stuff my face before I get back_

_***_

“So…” Steve began as he got up, perching against the front desk as Bucky crossed the threshold “Did you get it?”

Bucky smiled widely, dropping his gym bag on the floor before mimicking Steve, leaning against the desk with his elbows, “I have no idea.” He said with a shrug.

Steve let out a laugh, shaking his head “And you look this happy?”

“If I start thinking about it I will go down a spiral, so I'm pretending it didn't happen,” Bucky admitted. And it was very true, he had been freaking out earlier until Sam told him to quit it. It was easier to not think about it than stare at his phone, waiting for a call that might not come. He still had to graduate, he couldn’t stop living, no matter how important this internship was.

Steve nodded with a hum “That's a good strategy. But if that plan is anything to go by, they'll want you.”

“Maybe. Tony Stark was impressed.” Bucky said nonchalantly

“Tony Stark?” Steve eyes widened at the mention of that name “They showed it to him?”

Bucky shook his head other a little laugh “I wish, man,” he rested his chin against his hand “Dude showed up to my interview. Had no idea what was going on.”

“Bucky!” Steve grabbed his forearm, shaking it, and if he wasn't used to Steve's touching him a lot when he talked, Bucky would probably have jumped back. “That's amazing! What did he say?”

“Asked me for who it was. That it was too detailed to not belong to someone I know, I-” Bucky quickly shut his mouth when he realized what he had said, his face falling for a moment

“Who does it belong to?” Steve’s tone was curious, but he let go of Bucky’ arm.

Bucky looked up at Steve, before quickly looking away “My sister,” he knew he couldn't get out of it without lying, but the last thing Bucky wanted to do right now was talk to Steve about his sister. “I really don't want to talk about it,” he gave Steve a little sad smile, hoping it would be enough to stop the conversation right there.

Steve picked it up quickly, simply nodding and giving him a similar soft smile. They stood their in silence for a beat, before Steve perked up “Breakfast! Wasn't it the best place in the world?”

Bucky laughed, thankful for the quick change of subject. “Yeah, pretty amazing. Any suggestions here in DC?”

Steve hummed “I know this really cool place that does breakfast by Cleveland Park. It’s the best thing after a night shift.

“If it’s anything like that other place, I might just drop by after working out. You know, because I deserve it after you make me suffer for an hour.” Bucky shrugged playfully. In a way it wasn’t a lie. After a good workout Bucky always leaves the gym starving. Steve says it’s his body needing fuel, Bucky just thinks it’s a well deserved reward after sweating through his shirt.

Steve laughed, shaking his head “All my hard work, wasted for waffles!” he said dramatically, arm over his eyes and all.

Bucky laughed at Steve’s antics. “Next time don’t share your secret spots.”

“So, I shouldn’t tell you about this new Thai place by the Mall?” Steve said, barely lifting his arm so he could eye Bucky’s reaction.

“Probably a bad idea, yeah, because I haven’t had Thai in ages now and suddenly I crave it.” Bucky admitted with a laugh. Steve was going to be the death of him, Bucky just knew.

“Well, I can’t actually vouch for it, because I haven’t actually been there yet,” Steve pointed out “But if you want to make me company and test it for yourself, I wouldn’t say no. If it’s a good restaurant, you can’t blame me for mentioning it.” Steve suggested with an almost shy shrug, the corner of his lip tugged up. Playing innocent, Bucky could see.

“Sneaky. Then when I gain ten pounds after ordering take out for a week straight I can’t blame you. I see how it is.” Bucky chuckled, waving a finger at Steve.

Steve raised his arms in playful defense “Hey, I just mentioned it. If you’re not there at 8.30 tonight, then I know I’ve finally taught you some self control and you’re actually adopting an healthy lifestyle.”

Bucky squinted at Steve suspiciously “Is that reverse psychology?”

“Maybe,” Steve shrugged nonchalantly, but the quirk of his lip gave him away.

Bucky squinted harder. “If it’s not good you owe me a free month fee.”

Steve raised a brow at that “Have I disappointed you yet?”

“No, but you only gave me two suggestions, maybe the third is not the charm.”

“Actually, it’s the fourth.” Steve pointed out with a grin.

Bucky had to give that to Steve. He sighed dramatically. “Text me the address. Now I’m going to get changed before I regret letting you train me.” he said, picking up his duffel bag and walking

“See you in a bit, Buck. Prepare to suffer!” Steve called from the front desk, the teasing so clear in his voice that Bucky didn’t bother to look back.

As he walked into the man’s locker room, though, he abruptly stopped. Wait... Did he just accept to have dinner with Steve?

_***_

Bucky stuffed his hands in his jean jacket’s pockets as he made his way to the address Steve had texted him earlier. The nights were starting to get chilly again and Bucky should starting using gloves. He figured he would be okay with the twenty minute walk to the restaurant, but if it gets any colder he's Ubering his way back home.

Taking his phone out for a moment, Bucky realized he only had a left turn ahead and he'd get there. Not particularly early, but with a few minutes to spare to the time they said to meet.

As he took the left Bucky realised Steve hadn't arrived yet. He walked to the front of the restaurant and peaked inside. It was a bright place filled with people, and while Bucky could see some free tables, it was clear that they got a constant stream of customers. Bucky could not only hear the commotion from outside, but get a hint of what was to come, if the pleasant smell of cooked food was anything to go by.

Steve probably got it right again. All these amazing food suggestion, while amazing, were going to throw Bucky's new found gym regime under the bus. It would all be Steve's fault, so he could tease him if he complained Bucky was doing horribly on the deadlifts. He couldn't expect a man to excel at the gym while stuffing him with food.

Bucky was about to get inside, maybe get them a table already before he froze his ass off outside, when a loud roar got his attention and he stopped with his hand on the door handle.

Maybe they weren’t as annoying as the diplomatic plate cars that clogged DC, but motorbikes were the worst next thing. Of course Steve owned one of them.

“You’re late.” Bucky stated as Steve dismounted the bike and ran a hand through his tousled hair. “And loud.”

“Fashionably late,” Steve chuckled, carrying his helmet as he walked up to Bucky, passing by him and opening the door for him, as if he wasn’t the one who was late “Let’s go in?

Bucky shook his head, but he couldn’t fight the smile that pulled on the corner of his lips, so he simply followed Steve and got inside the restaurant, waiting for Steve to walk to the first waiter that passed by them and tell them they were there for their reservation.

“You called in ahead?” Bucky loudly whispered as they were being walked to their table, right in front of the windows. It was quite a nice view of the busy street outside.

Steve took off his jacket and hung it on the back of his chair before sitting down “Yeah, my friend that suggested it said he didn’t and it took an hour to get him a table. Wasn’t making the same mistake when I have a reputation to keep up.” he chuckled, picking up the menu.

“I mean, you haven’t disappointed me just yet, by the smell of it, it doesn’t seem like you’re starting today,” Bucky mimicked him, taking off his jacket and sitting down “Besides, it also smells like the hour wait would be worth it.”

Steve looked around them, before looking at Bucky over his menu, smiling widely. Bucky is sure he hasn’t seen Steve with a frown besides when he’s lifting, and even then he does it with a perfectly calm expression. “Oh, it’s definitely worth it. I heard the Yam Neua is amazing.”

Bucky scanned the menu, finding it hard to pick just one dish to try. The Yam Neau did sound pretty amazing, so he was going with that. “I mean, I got here by your suggestion, I guess I can follow it one last time. What’s the worse that can happen? Throwing it up? Wouldn’t be the first time,” Bucky said playfully, throwing in a dramatic wink. It was easy to joke about that now that the embarrassment wasn’t as fresh.

“Exactly. Only I promise you’re not throwing this up,” Steve said with a chuckle, placing his menu down and calling one of the waiters.

Bucky raised his hands in defence “I believe you, Steve. Send in the Neua.”

You’d think that hanging out with someone outside of the one place you’ve ever hung out before would be weird, specially when that pace was a gym, but having dinner with Steve was actually quite fun. It was like having dinner with Sam, the conversation flowing easily, jokes being thrown around, most of them not even about working out.

They had the gym in common, but stepping out of it, they easily branched out their conversations. Bucky learned a bit more about Steve’s childhood in Brooklyn, how he used to get in trouble more often than not, that working out was the way he found to direct all his energy to and grow up. Bucky told him about the little gadgets he’d create after school.

It was a laid back evening in which Bucky had way too much fun. Steve was a funny guy before, but he had Bucky laughing so hard he nearly spilled his drink on himself several times throughout the night. “There was no way you’d think you could take on a senior twice your size because he catcalled some girls.”

Steve laughed, cleaning the corner of his eyes from the tears that had collected there “Oh yeah, I totally did. I even got a punch in.”

“Oh, their knight in shiny shiner,” Bucky chuckled, shaking his head. Steve really was something else. Big muscles, bigger heart. Whoever snagged him would be lucky.

Good food, great drinks, even better company. The meal felt like it ended before it even started, and as the bill was placed on the corner of their table, Bucky realised it was coming to an end, and how sad he actually was that it was ending. He had a great time with Steve, and like most of the time he hung out with his friends, he wished it could last a little bit longer.

He knew he’d seen him soon enough, that in two days he had one of Steve’s HIIT classes, and that maybe after today, they would be considered actual friends, and not just gym buddies, and that they would be able to have more of these night outs. Bucky needed to actually get decent food in his body and not just take out and pizza. If the company and the food came hand in hand, it was just a plus in Bucky’s eyes.

They split the bill and started to get up, vacating the table for a couple of teenagers that had been waiting for well over half an hour. Steve’s reservation was probably a good idea.

As they walked out of the restaurant they were immediately hit with the chilly night’s air. Bucky shivered and pulled his jacket closer to him, “I’m definitely calling an Uber.” he muttered under his breath.

“What? Can’t handle a bit of cold?” Steve chuckled as he slowly zipped up his leather jacket “How are you going to survive New York once you get that internship?”

“Shh, you’ll jinx it,” Bucky pressed his finger over his own lips “I just forgot to bring a scarf. And gloves. And a warmer jacket,” he shrugged.

Steve hummed with an amused smirk “Want a ride? You’ll be extra cold for a few minutes, but you’ll be back in your warm apartment sooner.” he offered him his helmet.

Bucky raised a brow, looking at Steve before pointing at his motorbike, which was silently parked in front of them “You want me to ride that murder vehicule? In this cold?” Bucky asked, immediately shaking his head “Yeah, no thank you.”

“C’mon, Buck. In just under five minutes you’ll be at your doorstep.”

“The Uber has air conditioning.”

“I still haven’t seen you take out your phone and actually call one.”

Bucky worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment before extending his hand and motioning for the helmet.

Steve’s grin widened and he quickly threw the helmet at Bucky “You’re about to go for the ride of your life, man.”

_***_

The roaring of the bike died down as Steve kicked down the stand and killed the engine. The street was silent, but Bucky could still hear his ears ringing as he took off his helmet and gave it to Steve, his hands making a good job of not shaking through the exchange.

That was… a ride. Bucky didn’t mind the speed, he had had a few speeding tickets back in Indiana, but speeding while not having a metal case surrounding him from possible death? Yeah, motorbikes weren’t for Bucky.

Steve chuckled as he hung Bucky’s helmet on the handle, looking amused at Bucky, who had jumped off the bike and was already on firm ground. “You okay there, Buck?” His grin was mischievous, like he knew exactly what he had done, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Yeah. Mine.” Bucky tried to fix his flat hair to give his hands something to do before they started trembling “I felt my heart falling to the ground at least three times. Don’t they teach you to cut the speed on curbs?”

“Don’t worry, I drove by the rules. Maybe it was the food,” Steve suggested with a grin.

“Nah, it was definitely Steve Roger’s driving,” Bucky shook his head “The food was the best thing I’ve had in weeks,”

“Thought that brunch place in New York was the best thing,” Steve raised his brow as he climbed down from the bike, leaning against it instead of stradling it. He looked so casual and flirty, leaning back with his hand on the seat, that Bucky has to remind himself that this was his _friend_ casually talking about their totally friendly night out. Steve _was not_ flirting.

“Maybe you’re just a pretty good Trip Advisor page. Have you ever thought about quitting trying to look like superhero and write a food blog?”

Steve hummed, like he was actually giving it a thought, “You were a lost case and I managed to help you. Guess when I can’t start fixing hopeless cases and someone dislocates a shoulder and sues me, I’ll give the blog a try.”

“I’ll be an avid reader,” Bucky promised, raising three fingers, like he was a goddamn boy scout. He quickly stuffed his hand in his jacket pocket. “I’ll just have to find another personal trainer, because I’ll quickly double my size if I keep eating the things you suggest.”

Steve laughed at him, but he had a soft smile on his lips, so Bucky couldn’t really blame him for laughing. “I’ll add in some losing weight tips, then. In between articles. Or I’ll just review juice detox places.”

“Now that’s a profitable idea. I can see the influencer in you”

“I did take a business elective back in college.”

“See, there you go. Once you deflate, you have your life set.” Bucky chuckled, running a hand through his hair.

The night was clearly coming to an end, and while ideally this wasn’t the end Bucky would like, he’d take it. He had a good night with Steve, he was fun to hang out with, and Bucky was lucky to have him as a friend. They were there already, right? Hanging out outside of the gym was enough ground for friendship, at least In Bucky’s head.

“So, I guess I’ll head in. I need to sleep all this food off if you expect me to me in your murder class tomorrow night,” Bucky pointed to the building’s front door behind him casually.

“You call it murder class, but you keep going,” Steve laughed, running a hand through his hair, “And you have great stamina now, you’re one of the few who can keep up without stopping every twenty seconds,” He shook his head fondly “To think you threw up that first time...”

Bucky narrowed his eyes at Steve “That’s a low blow, man. It was one time!” Bucky really wished he could stay with Steve for a while longer, joking around, have a good time, but he had stretched the moment enough and he didn’t want to make it more awkward. “But seriously, I should get going. Thank you for dinner, I might just have a new favourite restaurant. Can’t thank for the ride back home, though.”

Steve waved it off, “No problem. I’ll try to find another place that tops this one.”

“Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, Buck.”

Bucky gave him a soft nod with a smile, before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket and turning his back to Steve. It wasn’t a bad end to the night, so Bucky wasn’t going to skulk over the fact that nothing else happened. He was already expecting it anyway.

“So, that’s it?”

Bucky stopped halfway to the front of his building. He turned around, raising his brow at Steve, who was still leaning against his bike, a soft grin on his lips.

“That’s it?” Bucky micked. Had he forgotten about some sort of goodbye bro handshake.

Steve’s disbelieving laugh cut through the quiet night, “God, I thought Sam was joking when he said you’re dense sometimes”

Bucky raised a hand in protest “I’m so confused, but whatever Sam told you, it’s probably a lie.”

 _“_ Not this.” Steve shook his head, that knowing smile that annoyed Bucky greatly still on his lips. What was he missing?

They stared at each other for a moment, the air suddenly getting heavy between them.

“You really think I’m straight?”

“Why wouldn’t I think you’re straight?” Bucky frowned. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certain wasn’t that.

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose with a resigned laugh, before looking up at Bucky again. “I’m on Grindr.”

Bucky shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets again “You look straight out of a suburban dream.” At the end of the day, Bucky just wanted to forget about that awkward online encounter. They were friends now, Bucky was happy with that.  “Some straight dudes are assholes like that.”

“You think I’m an asshole?” The squaring of Steve’s jaw was almost unpreceptable, but Bucky caught it. It made the raised brow less playful, and that’s when he knew he probably screwed up.

Bucky never meant to offend Steve, but it wasn’t exactly a lie. Steve told him he was just joking around, what did he expected Bucky to think? There was no way a guy like Steve would be gay **_and_ ** interested in someone like Bucky. It was more than plausible for Bucky to think he was indeed joking around.

Glancing away in embarrassment, Bucky chewed on his bottom lip for a moment “No….”

They didn’t look at each other, just stood there in silence as the wind whispered around them, letting the situation build around them.

Steve broke the silence. “This was a date.” he said as if he was merely stating facts.

“Well, now that you’ve put it in perspective,” Bucky huffed sarcastically. At that point he knew how much of an idiot he had been and was actually surprised Steve wasn’t put off by it. Bucky wouldn’t hear the end of it from Sam if he knew.

Steve still had that knowing smile on those stupid lips “Unless you don’t want it to be.

“I guess your reckless driving didn’t put me off completely,” Bucky shrugged nonchalantly, but the corner of his mouth quirked up.

“So…” A smile grew on Steve’s lips as he slowly approached Bucky, “That’s it?”

The teasing tone didn’t get lost on Bucky, and he wasn’t one to back out of a challenge, especially from Steve. He took a step forward, closing the distance between them, but not enough, making Steve be the one who took the last step so they could be within reach of each other.

The corner of Steve’s eyes wrinkled as he chuckled and took that final step towards Bucky, the tip of their shoes touching. He didn’t make that last move and Bucky knew he was doing it on purpose.

Bucky gave in, though, smiling softly as he looked up into Steve’s eyes, his fingers brushing over the front of his brown leather jacket. “God, I hate you,” he murmured, before gripping the collar of Steve’s jacket and bringing him down the few inches so their lips could finally touch.

Bucky would be lying if he said he hadn’t picture this before. He had the hots for Steve, it wasn’t his fault! He just never pictured it happening after a date he wasn’t aware of being a date, while Steve watched him being clueless with an amused smile.

He wasn’t going to complain, though. Steve’s lips were soft and warm, sliding against his, the hands he had fantasized plenty about holding him close by his hips. All those slightly inappropriate dreams didn’t come close to the real deal.

“That took you long enough,” Steve said as he leaned back, letting Bucky search blindly for his lips for a moment, before he too opened his eyes.

“Bold of you to pin it all on me,” Bucky raised a brow, his hands resting on Steve’s shoulders, patting softly “You’ve enjoyed seeing me suffer. If you’ve been deprived of my luscious lips it’s your own fault.”

Steve’s hands slid around to Bucky’s back, tugging him closer “I’ve learned my lesson,” he pressed a kiss to Bucky’s jaw, letting his lips linger there, the light touch sending shivers down Bucky’s spine. “Remember your opening line on Grindr?” he whispered lowly against his ear, totally aware of what his tone did to Bucky.

For a second, Bucky was glad Steve didn’t pull this on him right from the start, because he didn’t think he would ever be able to focus at the gym ever again. He’s not sure he can do it now, but with Steve suggesting they go in and Bucky can finally get up close and familiar with those abs, his focus would have to be tomorrow Bucky’s problem.

Bucky’s lips parted, but he wasn’t really sure what to say so only a little breath came out. He gripped Steve’s jacket tighter, tugging him closer before he pulled him along into the building. Steve followed him easily, laughing behind Bucky as he was dragged along to what was certainly going to be a good time.


	2. You're A Moron

Bucky rubbed his eyes as he walked through the dark apartment, barefoot and half naked. It was still early, barely any light coming from the half closed blinds on the windows, and there is a stillness set around him that he appreciates. He wants to bask in that silence for a while longer, make last night last.

As he turns into the kitchen, his heart jumps into his throat. “Jesus fucking Christ, Sam!” he loudly whispers as he holds his heart. Way to scare a half asleep guy, standing there in the dark kitchen, drinking juice straight from the carton with nothing but the fridge light.

“You’re up early” Sam says casually as he places the juice carton back and closes the door, bathing the kitchen back into complete darkness.

Bucky flinches as Sam walks up to him and flicks the switch with no regards for his sleepy eyes “And you’re late,” he groans, covering his eyes from the harsh artificial light. He wanted some water, not to get attacked this early in the morning.

“It’s my day off, I’m heading to the gym,” Sam looks offended and points at his gym bag that is resting on top of the counter, as if it hadn’t been obvious foor Bucky  “Though from the sounds of it, I guess I can have a private class right here in the living room.” he wiggled his brows

“Were you eavesdropping!?” 

Sam raised a finger “Thankfully not, ew,” and he actually looks glad he didn’t hear anything that come from Bucky’s room last night. It wouldn’t be the first time, but it’s definitely more weird when Sam knows the guy Bucky has in there. “I just got home when your totally straight personal trainer was getting a glass of water. Not naked, but damn, no wonder you’re actually training now. One look at those delts and I’m thinking of adding another rep today.”

Bucky groaned as he ran his hands down his face “Have I told you recently how much I hate you?”

“For getting you laid?” Sam raised a brow.

“For talking behind my back! He probably thought I was an idiot!” Bucky whined like a toddler. Not his greatest moment, but he had been cozy, warm, and sleeping not two minutes ago and now he is facing Sam judgment before 7 in the morning while also being reminded that he acted like a fool in front of Steve for weeks. Give him a break.

“And yet he took you out and got under the covers with you.” Sam simply stated, picking up his bag and sliding it over his shoulder “Maybe he’s also an idiot, have you thought about that?”

“Fuck off. Don’t you have to go work on your delts or something?” 

Sam chuckled as Bucky, walking up to him and tapping his stomach playfully “Alright, Grumpy Barnes, I’ll let you go back to your private session.” 

“Ugh!” Bucky groaned louder as Sam walked by him and headed out for the day. Really, what did Bucky Barnes do in a past life to deserve a roommate like Sam?

As Sam locked the door behind him, the apartment was silent again. Bucky finally did what he had crawled out of his warm bed for, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and downing half of it on his way back to his room. 

Bucky’s room was as dark as the rest of the house, blackout curtains drawn shut, but it was impossible to miss the massive lump on his bed. Maybe it was because it had been way too long since Bucky had someone sleeping over, but it was mostly because it was impossible to miss Steve’s presence, even in the dark, silent morning.

Climbing back on the bed, Bucky pulled the covers back on top of them before pressing himself against Steve’s back, spooning him. He’d be more embarrassed about cuddling up to Steve if he wasn’t still half asleep and if he hadn’t woken up with Steve half on top of him already.

Bucky wrapped an arm around his waist and buried his nose against the back of Steve’s neck, getting comfortable against the furnace that was Steve’s body. Falling back asleep was easy when Bucky hadn’t felt this at ease sharing his bed with someone in such a long time.

It was probably hours later when he woke up again, the room now brighter with the light coming from behind the curtains. His body was relaxed, soft, and it took him a few moments to realize he wasn’t glued to Steve’s back anymore. Instead, he was laying on his stomach but he was still connected to Steve.

Laying next to him, one hand supporting his head, Steve was slowly brushing his fingers along Bucky’s back, certainly over one of the marks he had left there last night. “Morning,” Steve’s scruffy morning voice didn’t help the fantasy Bucky had playing in his head right now.

“Morning,” Buck yawned, scooting closer to the warm touch. It really had been a while since he had allowed himself to be this vulnerable around someone he had just slept with. Bucky wasn’t even thinking about his morning breath as he laid close to Steve, closing his eyes and humming contently at the soft touch.

Steve chuckled “Don’t fall asleep on me. I’m the one working graveyard shifts and I’m already up.”

“I’m a sleep deprived grad student. I win this one.” Bucky shut his eyes tighter, but he couldn’t help but smile contently. “Just keep doing that, I’ll either fall right back to sleep, or you’ll work me up just right.”

Bucky had his eyes closed, but he didn’t need to have them open to know Steve had probably raised a brow at that. The hand slowly travelling down his back only proved that. Bucky grinned, but didn’t move as Steve’s teasing hand started slipping under the boxers he had thrown on when he got up for water. The lips that soon attached to his shoulder sealed the deal.

“Which one you’re tipping towards?” Steve asked with that husky voice.

Bucky leaned up and tugged him closer by the back of his neck “Which one do you think?”

Steve didn’t have time to even chuckle at Bucky’s eagerness, because he shut him up with a firm kiss.

_ *** _

There were a lot of things that happened in Bucky’s life, most of them unexpected, but he really had to admit having Steve sprawled on his bed with his sweatpants was the most far fetched thing he would expect to happen.

It’s hours later, i has started to get dark outside, but they’re both wide awake after spending most of the day lazily making out between long naps. They haven’t talked about what that entire night meant, but fighting over what food to get seemed to be a running theme with them.

“We just had Thai, we should mix it up with some pizza,” Bucky had been trying to convince Steve to just call Domino’s over the past ten minutes, while the blonde kept insisting chinese was the best after sex food.

Steve sighed dramatically, throwing a leg over Bucky, “When have I ever failed you with my food suggestions?” he asked as he kissed Bucky’s bare shoulder, making the brunet stop his complaining for a moment and just lean into the touch.

“You know, if you distract me with kisses, none of us is actually eating and you just gotta be happy with whatever Sam stocked the fridge with.” Bucky warned, trying to sound stern, but Steve’s kisses, as he’s been finding out, are way too convincing and could get Bucky to do whatever the other wanted in under a minute.

“I’m just distracting you for long enough so you can’t see I just dialed my favourite takeout place,” he said with a final kiss to Bucky’s neck before getting up quickly, raising the phone that Bucky didn’t realise he had picked up to his ear. “Hey, yeah, I want to order some take out?”

Bucky groaned and picked the pillow behind his head, throwing it across the room, hitting Steve square in the face if the other hadn’t stopped it at the last second “That’s cheating!”

Steve threw the pillow back to Bucky with a wink, continuing to order for them. Bucky pouted and hugged the pillow to his chest, watching as Steve paced around his room, sweatpants low on his hips, broad shoulders in full display.

_ Damn, this really had to be a dream _ , Bucky thought. There was no way a guy like Steve was actually in his room, half naked and ordering food for them after dining and bedding him. He was so way out of Bucky’s league it was crazy, but there he was. 

After placing their order, Steve put his phone down on Bucky’s desk before he climbed on the bed, crawling up to where Bucky was, hovering over him, knees on each side of Bucky’s hips. “I won.”

Bucky rested his hands on Steve’s chest, letting his fingers drum against his pecs “When haven’t I been swayed your way before?” Bucky shrugged, looking up at Steve with a soft smile “Guess I really can’t say no to that face. Or these shoulders… or these tits..” he joked, playfully squeezing Steve’s pecs

Steve’s face quickly warmed up, the redness travelling all the way down to his pale chest “I can’t believe you just said I have tits.”

Bucky laughed, moving his hands up to the back of Steve’s neck, playing with the hair there “Sorry, couldn’t help myself. They’re really nice pecs.”

“You’re lucky I’m into the whole rugged, long hair thing you got going on,” Steve countered, his smile playful

“I guess I really am,” Bucky agreed, his fingers burying in Steve’s hair “I really don’t know how this happened.”

“Well, it started with tricking you into letting me train you,” Steve leaned down, starting to trail kisses along Bucky’s jaw “Then I lured you in with food…” he started trailing down to his neck, making Bucky shiver under his touch. Yeah, Bucky wasn’t hard to sway.  “Then the motorbike was the final nail in the coffin.”

The little bite against Bucky’s collarbone got a little breathy moan out of him, but he quickly recovered “And the goal?” he asked, expecting another dirty joke.

Steve nuzzled against his neck, before leaning back up on his hands, staring down at Bucky with a little grin, his expression surprisingly soft  “This.”

Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle a bit “You on top of me?  That’s a lot of scheming when you could have had this the first time you told me I was dumbass and my squats hurt your eyes.”

Steve bared his neck as he threw his head back to laugh, and Bucky wanted nothing more than just reach up and mark that pale skin. “Yes, but on the regular.” he said, and Bucky probably made a face that made him continue “What? You think I would go through all this trouble for a night thing? I have Grindr for that. You’re worth the extra effort.”

“I-,” Bucky opened his mouth but no smart commentary came out. That… that really shut him up.

Steve shrugged “Unless you don't want to. Then you can just ignore what I just said.” His voice didn't waver, but there vulnerability in his eyes, like he really thought Bucky was going to deny him more moments like this. 

Bucky looked up at him, before pulling him down to his level by the hand on the back of Steve's neck. Kissing Steve had become so easy now, the slide of lips falling in sync in a second, slow and intimate. Steve tasted like his mint toothpaste, and the light stubble scratched Bucky's chin.

It didn't take much for Steve to press his weight against Bucky, their bodies pressed together from lips to toes, warm and pliant. Yeah, Bucky didn't want this for one night only 

“And then I am the dense one,” Buck mumbled against Steve's lips, a little playful smile on his own. “You're the one crazy enough to want me. I'd be stupid not to want you.”

Steve chuckled softly, shaking his head and pecking Bucky's lips “You sell yourself short. You're kind of a catch.”

Snorting, Bucky quickly rolled them around, pinning Steve down “Yeah? Is it the rugged look or the sleep deprivation?”

“The Stark internship you're definitely going to get.” He chuckled, surprised Bucky could change their positions so quickly- well, he had been working out. Steve tightened his legs around Bucky's waist, grinning up at him “That makes you a serious catch.”

Bucky rolled his eyes fondly “If I get it.”

Steve shrugged softly “You will. If not, I can be your consolation prize.” he said with a little playful smile, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s neck and bringing him closer.

It didn’t need much coaching for Bucky to follow him, brushing their lips together “You’re definitely not a consolation prize. You’re the prize itself,” he mumbled before kissing him deeply, passionately.

***

Steve’s two days off went by pretty quickly. Bucky had to admit, out of all the days he spent locked up in his room, these were the best. He didn’t even think about school, the internship, or the gym, really. It was just him and Steve in that room, between the sheets, making out, eating the takeout leftovers, going through Bucky’s movie list on Netflix, ignoring Sam moving outside his door. It was hard to peel himself from bed to go to a class he really couldn’t miss, specially with Steve pulling him back for an extra kiss.

Muscle physiology was tedious on it’s own, but knowing Steve had only a few more hours before he had to get to work and he was stuck in a two hour lecture, it was killing him. 

When he got to the apartment, couple of hours and a quick stop by the grocery shop later, Bucky found Steve and Sam on the couch, playing one of Sam’s videogames, talking and laughing loudly, already sharing a couple of beers.

“I got dinner,” Bucky called, walking up to the living room, setting everything on the table, watching them with a raised brow. 

“Great! Who knew you’d only need to get laid to actually do something?” Sam joked, not getting his eyes away from the TV screen. 

Steve actually paused for a second, looking at Bucky and winking “Thank you, Buck.” he smiled, before motioning for him to come closer “Come see me kick Sam’s ass."

Bucky watched the scene for a moment, not giving Sam the satisfaction of a smartass reply, before walking around the couch, sitting next to Steve. 

Bucky could see this being a regular thing. Steve was completely at ease at Bucky’s apartment, got along with Sam, even without Bucky as buffer, and pressed against him as he sat down, even if he was still focused on the TV screen. 

“Sam says you’re helpless at this one.” Steve said as he clicked away at the controler, biting hi bottom lip as he tried to shoot Sam’s character on screen “Don’t worry, I’ll kick his ass for you.”

“Hell no. No one beats me, not even Mr. Biceps over here.” Sam complained, moving his controller in the air, like the extra theatrics would actually translate on screen. 

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head fondly and watching them play for a bit longer, until they all called it a day and moved to the table where Bucky left the food. Steve had to clock in in a few hours, and he still had to stop by his place to change, as much as he said Bucky’s pants were surprisingly soft.

Still, eating with his… boyfriend? Were they boyfriends now? Eating together with Sam, as if they had been friends friends forever and this was natural, it felt nice. It was something that Bucky wasn’t expecting to feel, specially not over this one weekend. Steve had a way of inserting himself into Bucky’s life as if he had always been there, and it was just his natural place to be.

As Steve left, Bucky walked him to th the front door, wanting to make the rest of the weekend last. Steve leaving meant he couldn’t exactly keep pretending he didn’t have obligations to the outside world, or a degree to finish. It also meant the bubble was about to pop.

“Thanks for letting me stay over,” Steve said at his front door, getting his leather jacket on as slowly as humanly possible. It didn’t get lost on Bucky, who laughed softly. Maybe the bubble wasn’t popping.

“Glad you had a good time. And that the illusion of gym me wasn’t ruined.” Bucky joked, shaking his head fondly as he ran a hand through his hair.

Steve smiled, zipping up the jacket “It was, but for the better.” he shrugged softly, taking a step closer to Bucky.

“You say that, but you saw the mess that was my dresser,” Bucky laughed, looking up at Steve with a fond expression. God, he really got it, didn’t he? This big, blond asshole got him so bad, Bucky couldn’t even complain.

“It adds to the fantasy, that you’re just a regular human being. Humbles you down.”

“That’s it?”

Steve laughed as he was thrown his own line back at him. “You’re the worst,” Steve said as he pulled Bucky closer by the back of his neck, his fingers burying in Bucky’s messy hair. He could feel the smile against his lips as Bucky kissed back, hands on Steve’s hips.

The kiss didn’t last long, but it was enough to leave a goofy smile on Bucky’s lips.

“See you tomorrow? Well, in two days, it’s not midnight yet.” Steve asked, pushing the stand of hair that fell from Bucky’s bun behind his ear.

“Yeah, your murder class. Can’t wait.” Bucky shook his head, before pecking Steve’s lips one last time before opening the front door “Can’t get rid of it now, can I?”

Steve smirked, passing by Bucky and taking a step out “Guess not. You’re dating the teacher now.” he winked before starting to make his way down the hall to the elevator.

“Guess I am,” Bucky called, leaning against the doorframe as he watched him go, only closing the front door as he saw Steve winking at him one last time before the elevator doors closed.

Sam was grinning at him as Bucky walked back into the living room “You’re welcome.”

Bucky flipped him off, but his smile was hard to control.

_ *** _

Bucky only saw Steve in the flesh two days after. 

With classes, meetings and tutoring, Bucky had a hard time actually matching up with Steve's schedule, which was surprising. Without having to worry about working on his Stark prosthetic, one would think Bucky would have more free time, and honestly, so did Bucky. Finals were looming and it seemed like Bucky couldn't catch a break. He had just been ignoring those responsibilities over the internship project.

Still, they had texted quite a lot, and it made Bucky more excited to see Steve. He was still flirty and light, but most of the texts came charged with a different meaning than before. The flirting had a goal, that of course they hit the mark with Bucky.

Yet, as Bucky stepped foot at Asgard at 5 in the morning, two days after their weekend rendezvous, he was suddenly nervous. How should he act? They were together, he knew that, and Steve reassured him through text, but it was still weird. Should he just come up to him and kiss him? At his workplace? Was that okay?

“Hey, Buck! You made it!” Steve called cheerfully from behind the desk as the glass door opened in front of Bucky. He walked around it and came up to Bucky, placing a warm hand on his cheek and leaning in for a soft peck against his lips.

Well… there's his answer.

Bucky smiled sheepishly for a moment, before clearing his throat and standing up straighter, trying to act like that simple gesture didn't rock his world. There he was, freaking out about a simple hello, while Steve acted like it was the most natural thing in the world. Which it was, but it had been a hot minute since this was Bucky's normal.

“I have a whole new reason to come here now, don't I?” Bucky winked, leaning into Steve for a moment “And maybe I can wait for your shift to be over and we can go to that breakfast place you've been talking about? My treat?” He suggested.

Steve’s smile widened at that “Yeah, totally, I’d love that,” he nodded softly “I can try to get out a bit earlier even. If you promise me you’ll try my Combat class at 7.30,” he bargained

“Of course,” Bucky shook his head fondly. Of course Steve would try to bribe him. Of course Bucky falls for it “Yeah, count me in. I’ll do legs instead of arms today, then.”

Steve grinned, leaning in for another quick kiss “You won’t regret it. Now go get dressed.” he slapped Bucky’s ass playfully to get him going.

“Hey!” Bucky complained with a laugh, but started to make his way to the locker rooms. “You’re working.”

Steve looked around himself before winking towards Bucky “There’s literally no one around.”

“You’re the worst,” Bucky waved a finger at Steve’s direction, a soft smile on his lips, before going in and changing into his work out clothes.

That started to be their routine as a couple. With Bucky’s classes and finals looming, with Steve’s graveyard shift at Asgard, it was hard to make time to be together, but they were figuring it out. Bucky would wake up earlier to work out and spend time with Steve, before they went out for breakfast when Steve was free from work at around 9 in the morning. While Steve slept, Bucky studied and they would meet up for dinner later that day, before Steve had to work and Bucky would try to sleep. They made the most out of Steve’s days off.

It wasn’t the best arrangement, but they were trying to figure it out as they went along, trying to figure out their relationship as well, and while it wasn’t perfect, they were happy.

Bucky was really happy.

Being so wrapped up in his career and school, Bucky really didn’t have time to date, but now that he and Steve were together, Bucky wanted to make time for him. Okay, his schedule was cleared after submitting his Stark project, but he was obsessively working on it, so the free time he should have after being done was pure illusion.

Steve understood it though, with such a crazy work schedule himself, and he tried his hardest to make it work as well, and that’s how things went the first few weeks.

It worked.

_ *** _

Bucky startles himself awake, reaching out to grab whatever was falling off the table. Only nothing had fallen off, his computer and notes intact, but there was a white bag on top of his anatomy textbook that wasn’t there before and smelled awfully like waffles and freshly brewed coffee.

Steve’s arms sneaking around his shoulders didn’t even startle him, but Bucky quickly melted into them with a sigh, as his heart rate went back to normal, “Are we having breakfast for dinner?” Bucky tilted his head to look at Steve, who pressed a kiss to his jaw.

“It’s nine in the morning, it’s still considered breakfast,” Steve’s voice soft and quiet “Not the world’s fault we have a messed up schedule.”

Bucky sighed dramatically “Time is a social construct. I’m getting my proper night of sleep soon, so this meal is dinner.”

“Meals are also a social construct,” Steve chuckled as he pressed a final kiss to Bucky’s jaw before reaching into the plastic bag and getting their food. “I told you to get some sleep, have you been studying since I left for work?”

Bucky cleared the table of his mess of notes and books as Steve got all the food out for them “I think I got at least an hour of shut eye,” He raised his finger at Steve, ”and before you start, the exam is in three days and I need all the study hours I can get.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Steve raised his hands in surrender, a playful smile on his lips as he took a sip from his smoothie “As long as you get some sleep before your exam, I can’t ask for more, can I?”

“Damn right."

Yeah, they got it figured out.

_ *** _

_ _

Bucky melted back into Steve’s chest as his eyes drooped, lulled by the background noise of the action movie Steve insisted on watching, while the blond’s fingers played with his hair. The room was in near darkness just a bit of light coming from between the curtains and Bucky hadn’t felt this relaxed in a while. Steve was leaning back against the headboard and Bucky was comfortably pressed back against his warm chest.

It had become a regular occurrence, these lazy afternoons, with Bucky falling asleep on Steve. They had to, in a way, if they wanted to maintain a relationship, with Steve’s graveyard shifts at the gym and Bucky’s horrible sleeping schedule. Which had actually improved, even if he hated to admit so. He actually slept a nearly full night now, only in the middle of the day. Bucky most productive hours had always been from 2am to 8am, but now he wasn’t compromising his sleep.

Steve had laughed when Bucky first admitted he wasn’t as tired as he used to be, and that he didn’t need at least two mugs of coffee to wake up anymore. Bucky had to give it to him though, matching their schedules had been the best idea Steve had, after the way his input improved the joints on Bucky’s prosthetic project. Still, Bucky was stubborn and wasn’t about to admit so, especially when it got a smile on Steve’s lips when he was being a brat about it.

He also wasn’t letting Steve move now. Bucky didn’t even have enough willpower to stay conscious and tell Steve off for getting his hair all greasy when he had just washed it this morning; that’s how tired he actually was.

It didn’t matter, though, because Bucky was a dumbass that forgot he slept through the day and didn’t remember to turn his phone on silent. That was now angrily vibrating on his bedside table, Kill Bill’s sirens playing loudly. 

_ He’s definitely changing his ringtone now. _

By the time Bucky had groaned himself back to functional consciousness, Steve had already picked up the phone and was now showing him the screen. Rebecca Barnes. “Your sister.”

Bucky stared at the phone for a moment, before picking it up, flicking on the silent mode and stretching over Steve’s thigh to place the phone back on the table, before going back to his cozy spot between Steve’s legs. Bucky didn’t even need to look at him to know the confused look Steve was giving him. He could feel the furrowed brows in his soul by now.

“Uhm..” Steve started after a few silent seconds, the gunfight on the screen still playing in the background. His hands were resting on his on thighs instead of their rightful place, buried in Bucky's hair. “You’re not picking that up?”

Bucky was fixated on the laptop screen, though the movie wasn’t any more interesting than it had been when Bucky complained he didn’t want to see it an hour ago. “No.”

“If it’s because of me, I can make myself scarce. I need to brush my teeth, anyway,” Bucky felt the shrug against his back and before Steve actually moved away Bucky placed his hands on his knees.

“No, it’s not because of you,” Bucky took a shaky breath, turning his head so he could press a kiss against Steve’s stubbly jaw.  “Please don’t get up,” he asked quietly, before making himself grin up at Steve. “And keep greasing up my hair.”

Steve’s expression softened, but it was obvious he still had questions. “Alright… You’re getting it all sweaty and dirty tomorrow, anyway. I have a killer workout for you.”

Bucky wasn’t helping Steve’s worrying by completely ignoring a line perfectly set up for a dirty joke, as he simply smiled and went back to resting his head against Steve’s stomach, his fingers playing absently at the fabric around Steve’s calves. 

A few moments later there were fingers running through the hair by his left temple, gentle, tender, but Bucky’s mind wasn’t there anymore.

He had talked to Becca just a few days ago, so why was she calling again so soon? He knew things were okay, or else he’d have hundreds of missed calls from his mother by now. He couldn’t understand why she needed to catch up again so soon.

Deep down, Bucky knew why. He had noticed how calls were coming closer and closer together, how their talks were slowly getting longer, but this close together? Bucky remembered what Becca told him she had for lunch five days ago, it was too close. 

It was almost as close as it was before. And it scared Bucky shitless. 

He wanted to be close to his sister, of course he did. He missed the nights she called him, asking him for help for a science project but ended up telling him everything he was missing back home while he was at college. He missed being the first one she called when she was deployed, even her staying over the few weeks before that horrible day. He missed his baby sister, but he didn’t feel like he was ready to earn that relationship back.

Bucky just wanted to make it up for all the bad things he did. He didn’t want to be back in her life when he was the one pulling back. He wanted to deserve her forgiveness, he wanted to make things better and prove he was sorry. He wanted to make her a decent prosthetic, adapted to her needs. Right all the wrongs he ever made.

“Bucky?” Steve’s voice is soft, but firm, like he had been calling Bucky for a while.

“...mhm?”

“Wanna talk about it?” 

Bucky pondered about what reaction would Steve have to all of this. Was it too early in their relationship to reveal Bucky’s biggest mistake? Was it too much overall? Bucky couldn’t blame him if Steve got up and never came back, no matter how cozy they were right now. 

He knew there would be a time he couldn’t hide it anymore.  There was no way they could be serious while Bucky was keeping such a big thing away from him. It wasn’t a silly family feud, it was something Bucky did that cost his sister a lot. He already knew things were strained with his family, there had to be a time he would have to explain why it was so.

Steve would understand it, right? He was understanding. He laughed at Bucky’s terrible posture, didn’t get mad when Bucky kept messing up the simplest movements over and over. He didn’t even complain that much when Bucky left empty coffee mugs all over his apartment. Or his notes. Or his socks. Steve was understanding in a way Bucky didn’t know people could be understanding.

None of those things could result in having his arm blown off, though.

“Buck!” Steve’s firm voice pulled Bucky back from his thoughts again. His hands were on Bucky’s shoulders now, his fingers digging in enough to grab Bucky’s attention.

“It’s complicated.” Bucky admitted before Steve shook him again, looking back at him with a solemn expression.  He sat up straight, coached by Steve’s hands on his shoulders.

Was this really happening right now? Did it really have to? 

“I don’t have a masters in engineering, but you really don’t need one to understand family stuff, do you?” Steve’s smile was soft, warm, inviting, and Bucky hated how comfortable it made him feel. How it always got Bucky spilling his guts before even thinking about it.

He really needed a brain-to-mouth filter.

“I blew off her arm.” 

“You- her… what?” Steve’s hands were no longer touching him, and Bucky could see how confused he was by his statement.

Bucky sighed and crawled to the end of the bed, shutting his computer and sliding it to the floor before he turned to Steve. The distance made Bucky feel more comfortable, though he knew he’d hate every single second of this conversation. He sat cross legged in front of Steve, cracking his knuckles absently.

“I… you want to explain that again?” Steve tried, his brows furrowed. The air was suddenly heavy between them and Bucky wished he had just shut up and enjoyed his scalp massage.

“I’m the reason she has no arm.” Bucky repeated, his back straighter, though he kept playing with his fingers “That’s why we don’t talk that much anymore.”

It clearly didn’t explain anything, but Steve’s expression softened, and he moved closer, resting a hand on top of Bucky’s “What happened?”

“What do you mean, what happened? She lost her arm because of me, what’s so hard to understand, Steve?”

“Bucky.. hey, calm down. I just want to know how that happened.”  Steve's touch was soft, reassuring, and it only made Bucky feel worse.

Bucky took a shaky breath, rubbing his hand against his eyes for a moment. “You know Hydra?” he gave in after a while 

“Yeah, I think..” Steve frowned in thought, but his thumb was still brushing soft circles against the back of Bucky's hand “There was some scandal right? Went bankrupt in a couple of days.”

Bucky nodded softly, keeping eyes in the relaxing movement on the back of his hand “I used to work for them. They recruited me even before I was done with undergrad. Did my internship there, did my thesis on a smaller project before they really hired me after I graduated.” Bucky started “I was put into this kind of secret project they had with the Department of Defense as an engineer.”

Steve was silent, listening to Bucky attentively, gently coaching him to keep going with a little squeeze of his hand. It reassured Bucky and made him slightly more confident about spilling his darkest secret.

“We were creating these.. hand held cannon blasts, inspired by Wakanda’s army. It was exciting, you know, creating something that could help our troops outside, to create something so intricate.” Bucky smiled softly, because in a way, taking all the pain and hurt that project gave him away, Bucky loved to create. He loved to be surprised by the things the human mind could come up with. “I guess that’s why it took me so long to see something was wrong...”

“How.. How does Rebecca fit into that? Steve asked softy, his brows furrowed.

Bucky let go of Steve’s hand for a second, brushing his hair back, before taking it again, his turn to gently rub circles on the back of Steve’s hand. “We needed to try these prototypes. We do it first, of course, but we ask for actual soldiers to test them, because they’re the ones using them in combat, not a bunch of overtired engineers in DC. Becca had come back from her first tour and she wasn’t ready to go back home just yet, so she signed up. Showed up at my doorstep and then at my work.” he shook his head softly.

He had been so surprised to see her, but he still remembered how hard he hugged her when he managed to move, lifting her up from the floor and twirling her around. He had so many questions, but he was so glad she was back in American soil. Seeing his sister sign up as soon as she graduated high school gave him a lot of sleepless nights, but he knew she was tough, that she could handle anything. He was her big brother though, of course he’d worry when his sister had a gun on her hands in a foreign desert.

“I was just working on minor things you know? I didn’t call the shots, and I definitely didn’t push for earlier deadlines when I knew things were volatile. I should have said something you know, that I wasn’t comfortable with doing things so fast and getting the prototypes on the hands of the test subjects,” Bucky shook his head, lowering it shame. “It was Becca’s life on the line and I should have said something.”

The hand on the back of his neck was firm, but the skin was warm and the touch was light “Hey, it wasn’t your fault. Like you said, you didn’t call the shots…” Steve tried, voice understanding.

Bucky shook his head “I should have said something. I knew they were placing add ons that hadn’t been properly tested in controlled environments, the chances of something bad happening was high.”

“Bucky…” Steve said softly.

“Becca and another guy were testing the gauntlets, we called them,” Bucky remembered the day like it was happening right now. He was wielding a few parts together in the corner of the hangar when he heard the blast. His heart had dropped to his stomach even before he looked at the scene. “I don’t know what happened. The technology was new, too powerful. It just blew up,” he shook his head, tears filling his eyes. 

If there was one picture Bucky wished he could take off his mind, was the image of his sister, laying on the floor, blood all around her. Bucky wasn’t sure what he was seeing when he ran up to Becca, just that everything was red. He had fallen on his knees and pulled her close, glad to hear her hurt whimpers. She was alive, and hat was all he needed at first. Then he saw the severed arm and his instincts kicked in. He made a tourniquet out of his shirt and held Becca close to him until the paramedics came and took her away. He brushed her hair back like he used to do when she was younger and scraped her knees, whispering that it would be fine.

“It blew up her arm and I had to see her near bleed out. She spent two years in Afghanistan and she was bleeding in a hangar outside of DC.” Bucky shrugged, using the heels of his hands to clean his eyes, trying to make the tears stop. It was stupid, crying like this when his sister was the one hurt, but he never talked this much about this. Sam had been next to him through the whole deal, he didn’t need a run over of the situation.

Steve pulled Bucky closer to him, kissing the top of head and resting his nose against his hair. He stayed quiet, simply brushing his fingers against the back of Bucky's neck as the other tried to get his shoulders from stop shaking. Bucky had thrown up in front of Steve, but crying was the kind of vulnerable Bucky wasn't sure he could handle being in front of Steve. It didn't matter how understanding someone could be, telling them about how they were the reason their sister was now receiving a veteran pension was tough on anyone.

“They couldn't attach the arm. Below the elbow amputation and a honorable discharge from the army.” Bucky said after a few silent minutes, his voice finally under control. “The whole thing was a huge scandal, the public doesn't know half of it and I had to sign more NDA's I thought it was legal to. Becca got her medical expenses covered, but that was it. No compensation whatsoever, just a crappy prosthetic that isn't even comfortable.” Bucky let Steve pull him closer, resting his forehead against his shoulder, closing his eyes and enjoying the comfort Steve was giving him, even if he thought he didn't deserve it.

“Your Stark project…” Steve asked a few moments later, connecting the dots “Is it Becca?” 

Bucky nuzzled against Steve's neck before sitting back up, looking at him through red rimmed eyes “Yeah… I figured if I ruined her life, I could make it up for her some other way.”

Steve quickly shook his head, resting his hands against Bucky's neck “Stop saying that. It wasn't your fault.”

“Steve, I knew something was shady and I kept quiet. She got hurt because I thought it was impossible for such a huge company to make mistakes like that.” Bucky shook his head. His parents tried, Sam tried, hell, even Becca tried to tell him it was okay, but nothing ever shook the feeling of guilt out of Bucky. 

“Bucky…” Steve sighed “Did you personally blew that thing up? Did you you want your sister to get hurt?” He asked firmly, that voice he used when he was trying to sound serious. 

“Of course not, I-”

“Then it wasn't your fault, babe,” he shook his head, his thumbs gently brushing against his throat “You might have not said anything, but it wasn't your fault. You can't carry that on your shoulders. It was an accident, you were there for her, you've created a whole functional prosthetic they can use to actually build something for Becca.”

Bucky bit his lip, looking away. He had heard that from Sam on a regular basis, but Steve was only saying that because he didn't know “I haven't seen her since the accident…” he admitted, trying to avoid eye contact with Steve. He couldn't see those blue eyes disappointed in him. 

“Why not?”

Bucky shrugged. The reason seemed stupid, really “Can't look at her knowing I am the reason she's hurt.”

“Bucky..”

“You didn't see her laying in a pool of her own blood, Steve,” Bucky snapped, before sighing and rubbing his face. This topic always got his emotions bubbling up, “Or laying in that hospital bed trying not to cry when the doctors told her they couldn't do anything for her arm.”

Steve sighed, moving closer to Bucky and wrapping his arms around Bucky. He lusted after them enough, but having them protectively holding him was so much better than see Steve deadlift Bucky's weight. His embrace was warm and inviting and Bucky couldn't help but melt into it. “That isn't okay, but you two talk. She calls you all the time and you end up those calls with a soft smile that I didn't understand where it came from. You're doing something not all the brothers could say they would do for their little sister.” He said, gently rubbing Bucky's back “You messed up, but you're trying to fix it. Don't beat yourself up.”

Bucky listened to Steve's heartbeat as he laid his head against his chest. He kept quiet for a bit, just letting himself be held and reassured. Steve didn't hate him. In fact, he agreed with the rest of the people who knew about this. It didn't take Bucky's guilt away, but Bucky was sure nothing would ever do it. Steve understanding the entire situation and not hating Bucky, holding him close instead of pushing him away, it warmed Bucky's heart, and he couldn't say anything, really. He held back tears, just holding Steve back tightly for what felt like ages.

Once he had calmed down and he looked up at Steve, his eyes weren't watery anymore and his smile was small but genuine “I don't deserve you.”

Steve mirrored his smile, gently running his fingers through Bucky's hair “You put yourself down way too much. I bet Sam tells you the same thing.”

Shrugging, Bucky lets his head fall back against Steve's chest, laying there comfortably “Sam has been here since the beginning. He knows what happened. You didn't.”

“You had me there when you said you blew up her arm,” Steve laughed softly, clearly trying to lighten up the mood. “It was an awful situation, but you can't blame it all on yourself. You should have been there for her, I'm sure she needed you, but you're trying to make up for it. Focus on that “ Steve said against Bucky's hair, pressing soft kisses there.

There was a lot of things Bucky didn't think he deserved, and Steve being so understanding was one of them. He listened to Bucky tell him about his biggest mistake and he's trying to make Bucky feel better about it, telling him how he messed up, but how he could still fix it. He was right, but Bucky still wasn't ready to forgive himself.

“You make it really hard not to say the L word,” Bucky admitted quietly.

Steve laughed warmly, holding Bucky tighter against him, tangling their legs together “You just told me something very personal, Bucky, something that's hurting you. Hard not to say it back.”

Bucky looked up at Steve, raising a brow questioningly before leaning up and pressing their lips together for a moment. He really was lucky to have Steve in his life.

It wasn't like he loved Steve madly, but he was quickly falling in love with him. How could he not? Steve was damn near perfect, and made Bucky feel like he was worth all of that. Telling him about Becca and seeing his reaction was the reassurance that Steve was there to stay and Bucky could just open up his heart to him without fear of getting it stepped on. 

Steve was smiling a dopey smile as Bucky leaned back. God, how Bucky loved that stupid face. 

Bucky rested his head back against Steve's shoulder, his cheek against the soft fabric of his sweater, and just enjoyed the proximity. The movie had been forgotten about, and if Steve kept brushing his hand against Bucky's arm, he might just fall asleep again.

It's Steve voice that stops him.

“You know why I am in DC?”

Bucky shrugged softly, not bothering to look up, not really wanting to move from the comfortable position he was in. “Being a diplomat's PT pays more than training some rich ass yankee? Cheaper rent?”

Steve chuckled, and it got a smile on Bucky's lips too. “Well, you're not wrong about the rent.” He moved his hand from Bucky's back to brush back his own hair. “I had a college girlfriend. Met her freshman year and we just stuck together.”

Bucky lifted his head up at that, poking a finger against Steve's cheek with a obviously exaggerated frown “I told you I got straight vibes from you.”

Shaking his head fondly, Steve brushed Bucky's hand away. “You get bi vibes at most, babe, the last thing I am is straight,” he joked, before his face fell again. He didn't look upset per se, but you could see what he was gonna talk about was serious.

Bucky straighten up, not laying on Steve anymore, just sitting up next to him, his body turned in his direction, giving him all the attention. If Steve had to go through Bucky's meltdown, he wanted to be there for Steve if it was a serious conversation. He still couldn't help but joke back for a second “Yeah, my dick in your mouth last night wasn't very straight like.”

It got a smile out of Steve, and a fond shake of his head. “No it wasn't. But I did have a girlfriend, and I guess we were that couple that everyone saw would stick together even after college. You know, the whole marriage and kids thing.” He confessed, looking up at Bucky with a soft smile. He started playing with the zipper on Bucky's hoodie, clearly nervous to be talking about that.

Bucky hummed, watching Steve talk, taking in his facial expressions. He wasn't sure where this conversation was going, but it was clear that while it pained them, he thought fondly of whoever he was speaking about. Bucky didn't even allow himself to be jealous of a random girl that obviously wasn't with Steve anymore. There was not reason to.

“She was a political science major. Wanted to take Capitol Hill by storm. Sharon had fire in her eyes and you knew she could do whatever she put her mind on.” Steve sighed and laid back on the bed, looking at the ceiling “Of course I supported her, you know? There's plenty of jobs I could have with my fitness degree, I didn't have to stay in New York, she was the one with her mind set in one place, and I wanted to be there for her.”

“You're in DC… but you're dating me now, and I definitely don't have fire in my eyes…” Bucky rested his hand over Steve's stomach, drumming his fingers against it “Exhaustion at most.” He laughed softly.

Steve rested his hand over Bucky's, tilting his head to look at him “You do have fire in your eyes. I saw it when you showed up at four in the morning at Asgard in your pj’s.” He smiled fondly. “Guess that's my type.”

Bucky shook his head with a smile “Did she also not know how to do a decent squat?” 

“She didn't work out much. Went for a run in the morning before focusing on her studies. Then her career.” Steve smiled sadly “We started a life here and before I knew it, her career was all she was focusing on.”

Bucky nodded softly, waiting for him to continue. He didn't want to comment on a situation he knew nothing about .

Thankfully, Steve didn't seem that upset talking about her. It hurt him, Bucky could see it in his eyes, but he wasn't crying about how he lost the great love of his life, so maybe it wasn’t that bad.

“I should have seen it coming. It wasn't like I was expecting her to be here and not try her damn hardest to make herself known, I just wasn't expecting to be pushed aside. We tried, for a couple of months, but she was making a good impression and she kept having more work to do and more meetings to attend, it was hard to have a relationship. It felt like we were more roommates than a couple living together,” Steve laced their fingers together, resting their joined hands on his stomach. “We’re still friends.,. She suggested the Thai restaurant I took you on our first date, but…”

“But you came all the way here for a relationship that didn’t work out,” Bucky finished for him.

Steve nodded “Yeah… I was too proud to admit I had failed and go back, so I stayed.” he turned to Bucky, smiling softly “I’m glad I did.”

Bucky smiled back, wrapping his arm around Steve and pulling him close, kissing his cheek “I’m glad you two stayed friends. That it wasn’t a disastrous breakup.”

“You should meet her. I’m sure you’d get along just great,” Steve chuckled, leaning into Bucky’s embrace this time.

Bucky laughed “Hold your reins, I’m meeting your mother your college sweetheart.”

Steve snuggled into Bucky’s arms, smiling softly “Alright, we can arrange that.”

_ *** _

Having told Steve about Becca lifted a weight out of Bucky’s shoulders. There was no way he’d stop feeling guilty about it until he actually got the Stark Internship and could build Becca her arm, but letting his boyfriend know about definitely helped Bucky. 

It’s a weight you carry without even realising, and now that Steve knew, Bucky could focus on other things. Namely his final exams. 

Bucky’s life always managed to get busy, no matter how many things he got done with, and in a way it had been a good thing. Between studying, going to the gym, hanging out with Sam and being with Steve, he actually forgot he was waiting for a phone call. He had been so focused on getting good marks on his finals that the internship completely slipped out of his mind.

As he realised who was calling him in the middle of a very later lunch with Steve after his final exam of the season, Bucky realised that maybe they knew exactly when they had to call.

The good news were immediately celebrated with some day drinking, and even Sam managed to extend his lunch hour to come celebrate with the two of them after Bucky called him excited to tell him the good news.

Pepper Potts herself had called him, congratulating him on being that year’s chosen applicant to the Stark Internship program. Out of thousands submissions, Bucky had been the one that impressed them the most.

Bucky was beaming, he barely even remembered the conversation, only that everything would be sent to his email and that he should start with the house listings linked to his web address.

He would be moving to New York in a few weeks and he couldn’t wait for it.

Bucky hesitated on his phone later that night, his finger hovering over Becca’s contact. He wanted nothing more than talk with his sister, tell her how excited he was for this, how he could finally make up to her, but he hesitated. He always did. Steve got into bed with him and Bucky locked his phone and pushed it away.

He would talk to her soon. Graduation, he promised.

_ *** _

“Okay, that’s it,” Bucky pressed his hand against Steve’s chest, keeping him hovering above him. “You gotta stop that.”

“Stop what?” Steve’s brows furrowed deeply, and if Bucky wasn't so annoyed he might have found that little crease in the middle of his forehead cute. “Kissing you?”

“That look!” Bucky pointed out exasperatedly as he sat up, dropping his legs from around Steve’s waist. No point in trying to keep the mood when Bucky’s boner was more than dead. 

Steve looked even more confused as he sat back on his heels, “What do you mean,  _ that look _ ?”

“The one you’ve been giving me for the past week,” Bucky sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair, pushing it back. “The sad puppy look. Like you’ve just gone through all the break-up stages and you’ve yet to tell me we’re not together,” he waved at Steve’s face.

The look on Steve’s face said it all, and Bucky wished it didn’t hurt as much as it did. Steve’s hands on his biceps felt cold, “Bucky, that’s not-”

Bucky raised his finger at Steve “If you’re breaking up with me, I want my heart broken, not those sad eyes that will make me think it’s the right thing to do, what the fuck.” he spat out, clearly upset. He really couldn’t believe that was what was bothering Steve these past few days. 

Steve ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath “You’re going to New York...”

_ Oh _ .

So that was it. Steve was afraid the Sharon-situation happening again. He was afraid of following Bucky back to New York and then breaking up. The thing was, Bucky never asked that from him. Hell, they haven’t even dated that long. He never asked Steve to do anything he didn’t want to do and Steve had already gone through the whole scenario in his head like it was set in stone.

Bucky rubbed his temples with a little relieved smile. It wasn’t that big of a deal, they could work around it. “I’m not asking you to follow me, Steve.”

The blond visibly flinched and honestly, Bucky had no idea what he said wrong. Wasn’t it what Steve was afraid of? “Woah… okay.” Steve nodded after a moment and got up from bed, walking to the corner of the room to get his shoes on .

“What?” Bucky was confused. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching Steve. Wasn’t following Bucky what he was afraid of? Bucky had just taken that weight off his shoulders, why was he acting like this. “Steve, what the hell?”

“You’re complaining about me, but you already had a plan, didn’t you?” Steve said angrily as he pushed his feet into his boots, groaning as the back got caught on his heel. He cursed as he tried to fix it.

“What do you mean?” Bucky slid off the bed, slowly approaching Steve, but quickly getting pushed back with a simple look from Steve.

“Or maybe you didn’t, which tells me even more about you.”

“Can you stop and tell me what your problem is?” Bucky begged, starting to get frustrated.

“What the problem is, Bucky, is that you got this amazing future ahead of you, and honestly, I’m proud. I’m proud of you and I think you’ll do amazing things.” Steve said honestly, but Bucky could start to see him getting worked up “But you’re so focused on your future that you forget you have a present. That you have me!”

“Steve,”

“You got that phone call last month and not even once you mentioned a thing about us.” Steve rambled on, not giving Bucky space to talk back. He was clearly hurt and Bucky cursed himself for not noticing earlier “You’ve let this drag for so long I can’t help but think that you wouldn’t. Let this run its course and leave at the end.”

Bucky shook his head, trying to get close to Steve again, but being stopped with yet another stern look “I would never do that, Steve. You know I wouldn’t.”

“Do I? You haven’t talked to me about anything. And don’t you dare say that all that apartment talk was some sort of subtext.” Steve finally managed to get his boots on and was picking up his jacket.

“Because I could never ask you to follow me when you’ve told me the only reason you’re here is because you followed someone who was following their dreams.” Bucky tried, taking a step closer.

Steve managed to look even more pissed and really, Bucky had no idea what he said wrong again. “I’m leaving.” he didn’t even put on his jacket as he made his way out of Bucky’s room, slamming the front door as soon as he went through it.

Bucky stood in the middle of his room, not really sure what had just happened. Did Steve just break up with him?

Bucky knew he did a lot of things wrong, namely talking with people. He knew he should have talked with Steve more about his move, but did he really mess up that bad? He wasn’t going to ask Steve to move with him to New York when they’ve been dating for a couple of months, when he knew the last time Steve did it, it didn’t end well. Bucky didn’t want it to end, so he didn’t ask, but it didn’t meant he didn’t want Steve by his side.

Hell, he got him two train tickets for him to use whenever he wanted to,  to visit Bucky when he started with his internship. He was going to give it to Steve the night before he had to pack up his things in a U-Haul and drive al the way up to Centra Manhattan. 

He didn’t want to move now that their relationship was starting to get solid, but he wasn’t going to stay back. He knew Steve wouldn’t want him to, and he wouldn’t even if Steve asked him to. He loved him, but he loved Becca more, he wasn’t going to throw out the biggest opportunity of his life.

Sam called him a dumbass later that night when Bucky cried on his shoulder, telling him to get his shit together. He knew that Steve wasn’t asking for Bucky to stay back for him, but that maybe talking to him about the whole thing would have been a better idea than letting things roll and arranging his new life in another state while his boyfriend would stay back in DC.

Bucky knew he was right, but damn, did it deserve such a big argument? Bucky was trying,  he really was, and he still messed up the one thing he didn’t want to mess up. Now he had to fix it, because there was no way he was going to let that fight be the end of him and Steve.

Bucky was stubborn and he really wanted to have them work out. He hadn’t felt this happy in so long, and a lot of it was thanks to Steve. He wanted him in his life as he took this next step in is life.

That’s why he’s walking into Asgard at 2 in the morning the next day, having given Steve  enough space to calm down.

Steve looked tired as he looked up from the computer and at Bucky. He didn’t have the dark circles Bucky would get if he missed a night’s sleep, but his eyes looked tired. The fact he didn’t smile when he saw it was Bucky coming through the front door didn’t help Bucky feel any better.

He made Steve feel like that because he had been a dumbass that didn’t know how to talk with another human being. That didn’t know how to talk about a huge change in his life with his boyfriend. He was going to change that.

Bucky placed the envelope on top of the front desk and waited expectantly for Steve to pick it up.

“What is that?” Steve asked, clearly unimpressed, barely giving it a glance.

Bucky looked apologetical, hoping the small smile he was giving Steve was enough to make the other see how he really meant it “Something I planned on giving you before going to New York. Guess I should have done it way before then.”

Steve eyed him wearily for a moment before he picked up the envelope and opened it, scanning the two dateless New York bound train tickets. Bucky could see he was trying hard to not let his expression soften up “This changes nothing I said.” he said, looking up at Bucky, his expression completely cool. Bucky could see right through it.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck “I know.. I know I messed up big time, but I promise I wasn’t doing it to hurt you. I’ve done that enough to people in my life,” he said sadly, stepping closer “I want you next to me in this adventure, Steve. It doesn’t have to be in New York just yet, but I want you there.”

Steve started at him, as if he was evaluating if what Bucky was saying was genuine. After a few moments, he looked back at the tickets in his hands and worried his lower lip between his teeth.

“I’m sorry, Steve. You know I’m a moron, but I really just didn’t want to put pressure on you,” Bucky continued.

“You are a moron.” Steve agreed

Bucky couldn’t help but smile expectantly at him.“I know.”

“A moron that I love and that should stop pulling cute shit like this but totally messing up on the delivery.” the corner of Steve’s lip was upturned and Bucky couldn’t think a better way of hearing the first “I love you” coming out of Steve’s mouth.

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovely art by @Stoven


	3. Epilogue

“You want my help or not, asshole?” Sam slapped Bucky’s hand away as the brunet tried to mess with the knot Sam was trying to tie, “I’m going to choke you if you don’t stop.”

Sighing dramatically, Bucky let his hands fall along his body, allowing Sam to help him. “You know, Steve helps me with my ties back in New York.”

Sam rolled his eyes, fixing the knot before taking a step back and admiring his work “Yeah, but he didn’t suffer through the most of your degree, so I deserve doing your tie for your graduation.” He gave the tie a little tug before grinning widely “And I never pass up an opportunity to nearly choke you.”

Bucky laughed, pushing Sam away playfully as he stood in front of the mirror in his old bedroom. “I’ll take you up on that after lunch with the family.” Bucky said as he fixed his navy suit, smoothing out the wrinkles, a little nervous habit.

Sam leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as he watched Bucky with a soft expression, “Steve’s meeting them for the first time, right? That’s why you’re sweating into your brand name suit?”

“It’s not that. Of course they’ll love Steve, have you met him?” Bucky shrugged, fiddling with the cuffs. If that was the only think Bucky had to worry about, he’d be sailing through this weekend. “I finished Becca’s arm.”

Sam’s eyes widened “Really?! Dude! That’s amazing.”

Bucky shook his head, keeping his eyes on his cuffs “What if she doesn’t want it? What if the one thing I thought would fix our relationship doesn’t work?”

“James.. She’s your sister. She loves you regardless,” Sam rested his hands on Bucky’s shoulders, holding him in front of him, trying to hold eye contact. Sam’s dramatic like that sometimes, when he wants to make his point across. “It’s not the arm. It’s what you mean by it. You’ve done nothing but try to fix this for the past couple of years, and while I can’t agree with your methods, I know you,” he rested his hand over Bucky’s heart “You’re a dumbass with a heart of gold. You’ll be fine.”

“That’s so sappy, Samuel..” Buck gave a wet laugh, before pulling Sam into a tight hug, resting his chin against his shoulder. 

“Yeah, don’t you dare cry on me,” Sam chuckled, patting Bucky’s back.

Bucky leaned back and rubbed his cheek before he turned to the mirror again, “I only cry when I’m overwhelmed with deadlines, don’t know what you’re talking about.” he joked, fixing his hair once again. 

“Sure, James,” Sam laughed, squeezing Bucky’s shoulder one last time “I’ll leave you to stress out, but I’m sending Steve in if you take more than five minutes,” Sam warned as he made his way out, stopping by the threshold to give Bucky a soft look through the mirror, before closing the door behind him.

Bucky sighed loudly as he looked over his appearance once again, tugging at his cuffs, buttoning up the suit and running his fingers through his hair, combing it back. It wasn’t like he was nervous about his appearance, but it gave him something to divert his attention to. 

He could do this. Steve was gonna charm the pants off of his family and he was going to be able to have an honest talk with his sister. He had well over an year to prepare for this, and while most of that year had been working on the prosthetic and not in the speech, he could do this. It was Becca, his sister, his best friend through most of his life. He’s got it in the bag.

Taking a final breath, Bucky nodded at his reflection and made his way out of the room.

“God bless Tony Stark.” Steve whistled as soon as Bucky stepped into the living room, eyeing him from head to toe. He was standing by the window, beer bottle in hand, exactly where Bucky left him ten minutes ago, now chatting with Sam.

“You mean, thank you Hugo Boss?” Buck shook his head fondly, walking up to Steve and pecking his lips softly. He took that distraction to take the beer bottle from Steve’s hand and taking a swing as soon as he leaned away. “I need this more than you.”

Steve laughed, wrapping his arm around Bucky’s waist, tugging him closer “Tony Stark is the one paying your bills; And gifting his favourite intern expensive suits for his graduation. Should I be worried you found a sugar daddy?” he raised a playful brow.

Bucky made a face, smooshing Steve’s cheeks together with his free hand “I’m rethinking letting you rip this off of me when this day is over with.” He kissed the pout his cheek squishing created, a soft smile on is lips. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Sam protested, shaking his head and going to the kitchen, probably to get more alcohol into him to deal with the both of them.

Bucky and Steve laughed loudly as Sam made his dramatic exit, before locking eyes and sharing an intimate look.

After their big fight before Bucky moved to New York, he was sure that things with Steve wouldn’t work out. Yeah, they patched things up, but Bucky knew he wouldn’t be lucky enough to actually keep someone like Steve in his life. He had been waiting for the penny to drop, for Steve’s weekend visits to grow further apart, for him to get tired of staying up later so that their schedules aligned and they could Facetime.

That never happened. Before Bucky knew it, Steve was taking the first train down to Manhattan right after the last shift before his days off. Weekly. He was leaving his clothes around Bucky’s apartment, not even bothering to take them back, because he knew Bucky would just add them to his laundry load. All of a sudden, it was like Steve was simply commuting to work up in DC every few days. 

It scared him, how serious it all felt, but not as scary as losing him for good. Steve was used to Bucky’s dumb ass, but he wasn’t sure he would be forgiven for messing up that greatly a second time. 

He remembers the moment so vividly, even now, couple months after. It was in the middle of the afternoon, the blinds were half shut, so they could almost pretend it was still early morning and life wasn’t moving at full speed outside. They were naked, sheets on the floor, and Bucky was panting, both because he had just ridden Steve into next week, but also because of the question that was on the tip of his tongue.

As Steve had moved to sit up, Bucky had wrapped a leg around his waist, not letting him move away. He was given the same sad look he got every time Steve had to go back to DC.

“Stay,” Bucky had asked in a breath, before he had time to stress over the right thing to say and chicken out.

“We have this conversation every week Buck. Can’t miss my train.. Again,” Steve’s voice had been playful, and the corner of his eyes wrinkled like they always do, but Bucky could see it in his eyes. How he wished he could just fall back on the bed and stay. Stay in his arms in the early hours of the morning, make breakfast with him, kiss him back when Bucky came back from work.

“No, I know..” Bucky gently brushed his fingertips along Steve’s naked hip “Go. But next time, come to stay.”

Bucky still remembers the stunned silence and how loud his heart was beating in his ears as he waited for Steve’s reaction. 

“A week, a month, forever.” Buck shrugged “For as long as you think you can handle sharing a kitchen with me.”

Steve got shy in the way he always does when Bucky manages to actually say something he wasn’t expecting “You don’t soak up your dishes before you wash them.” 

Bucky had grinned widely at that “I know.”

“Guess if I’m around more often, I can change that.” Steve’s smile had been so wide that Bucky thought it was going to split his face in half, but he couldn’t be more in love than in that moment.

Now they were in Bucky’s old apartment, now only  _ Sam’s _ , getting ready for Bucky’s graduation. There were a lot of things that Bucky knew he messed up easily, but he was glad his relationship with Steve wasn’t one of those. That he could be sharing this moment with him.

“You ready?” Steve asked with a little squeeze to Bucky’s side. He didn’t need to specify what he meant for Bucky to understand. There had been a lot of sleepless nights where Bucky was having a complete meltdown about Becca’s prosthetic and Steve had to drag him to bed to stop him from overthinking. 

_ No. I’m not ready. _

“Yeah..” Bucky gave him a little smile before pecking Steve’s lips, the mouth of the beer bottle soon following. Still too sober to deal with this.

Thankfully Sam came back from the kitchen to help them move along. “Have you two stopped being disgusting?” he asked as he picked up his jacket from the back of the chair it was draped over.

“Never, I thought you knew Bucky already,” Steve joked, winking at Bucky before getting away from the window and picking up his jacket as well. He had picked a grey one for the occasion, that not only fit him perfectly but also matched perfectly with Bucky’s navy one. Yes, they were  _ that _ couple, and Bucky enjoyed every second of it.

Bucky watched the street outside for a moment, tucking his hair behind his ear one last time before he walked to the coffee table and picked up the metal briefcase. The one he had tried to forget about since him and Steve arrived last night. He still has to go through his graduation ceremony before he really as to think about the weight he carries on his shoulders and his briefcase.

He could do this.

“Let’s go?” Steve’s voice is what gets Bucky out of his thoughts, and his hand wrapping around Bucky’s soon follows. 

Bucky gives him a small nod of his head, before looking up at him and trying to muster a confident smile, but from Steve’s soft expression, he’s sure he he achieved a nervous smile at most “Yeah,. Can’t arrive late to my own graduation right?”

“There’s an awful lot of talking and not enough moving, c’mon, we’re gonna get stuck in traffic and we all know how much I hate traffic,” Sam had opened the front door and was already motion for them to move along. 

Bucky squeezed Steve’s hand before lacing their fingers and pulling him along “Alright, alright, we’re going.”

_ *** _

Sam had been right. They got stuck in traffic and got to the main quad just as the ceremony was about to start. Bucky would have been more stressed if he hadn’t done this twice before. Once you graduate the first time, any other ceremony is just that, a little ceremony. It also didn’t give him time to try to find his family before it started, which gave him at least another hour before he had to face Becca.

Steve had kissed him firmly before Bucky had to run to sit next to his fellow classmates, the way he kisses him when he wants to show, not tell, Bucky how much he is feeling in that moment. Bucky knew how proud Steve was and he couldn’t help but bask in that feeling as he saw down and waited for his name to be called.

The things about graduations was that Bucky already had his. When he was an undergrad and finally was able to breathe without worrying about the thousand projects he had due graduating felt like the best thing ever. The hat, the ceremony, having his family visit him after months of not seeing each other, actually making them proud.

Bucky did that already, this was just a formal ceremony, but he hoped he still made his parents proud, made Steve proud. The ceremony was simply a symbolic end to all of his hard work.

With just a long speech and the handing of the new diplomas, Bucky was done pretty quickly. He had heard Sam yell out when he went up on stage to shake the principal's hand, and he was sure most of the clapping came from his mom. 

Before he knew it, Bucky was searching for them in the sea of people, pushing through the gathering in front of the main quad. For a physical trainer boyfriend, Steve was surprisingly hard to find in a crowd. 

His mother wasn't though, and as soon as she saw him, she called out a “Bucky!” excitedly, which was pretty hard to miss. Winifred Barnes was a woman that was hard to miss. While she was petite, she made herself seen in any occasion. Maybe it was the striking looks Bucky always said he got from her, maybe it was the presence.

“Mom!” Bucky smiled widely, pushing through the last people in the way, before wrapping his mother in a tight hug, lifting her from the ground. Damn, he really had missed her.

Bucky didn’t believe he was someone who got attached too much. He could go through long periods of time without seeing his parents, he moved out as soon as he graduated high school, and didn't go back to Indiana for a long time. Only he couldn't really go without his family.

He texted his mom more than he would like to admit, and was on the phone with his dad regularly too. Before the accident, he called Becca as much as he could, or she would when Bucky was in a trance and wouldn't take eyes off his books.

Bucky had a relatively good relationship with his family and having them present in this special moment meant more than whatever feelings he had over Becca's accident.

“My son. A Master,” she laughed as Bucky placed her down again, her hands cradling his face “Again. I'm so proud of you, Bucky.”

“Mom, please.” Bucky should be embarrassed, really, but he loved how affectionate his mother was. He never had to worry if she really loved him, because she would always show it. 

As she pressed a kiss to his cheek, his father came closer and rested a hand on his shoulder “Congrats, son. We knew you'd make it.” George Barnes wasn't as enthusiastic as his wife, but his smile was warm and he quickly pulled Bucky into a hug as soon as his mother let go of him. 

“Thanks, dad. There were a few sleepless nights where I didn't think I could, but I'm glad you believed in me,” Bucky joked, stepping back and looking at Rebecca, who was grinning widely, waiting for her turn to congratulate him.

“Here I am. Hating DC and all.” She smiled and stepped closer, reaching out with her right arm and wrapping it around Bucky, getting on the tip of her toes to make up for the size difference.

Bucky could feel her static prosthetic against side, but he swallowed the feelings of guilt and hugged her just as tightly. He was going to change this stiff relationship soon. “I'd hope so. You did promise.” He gave her a tiny smile.

“Well, I did want to meet your new boo.” She shrugged with a mischievous glint in her eye “So, where is he?”

Bucky sighed dramatically as his mother agreed with Rebecca, looking around them, trying to find Steve. “Oh, yes, of course. Where's Steve? And Samuel, you can't tell me that boy didn't come to your graduation after putting up with you for so long.”

“He wouldn't pass up the opportunity to make fun of me in a suit. Or to see you. He knows he's the favourite son.” Bucky rolled his eyes fondly before looking around and trying to spot Steve. It took a few moments, but when he did, Steve luckily glanced at him as well. Bucky waved him over. “He’s coming. Please behave.” he loudly whispered to his family.

“I don’t know what you mean, James,” Rebecca winked, before smiling widely at Steve as Bucky introduced him. “Hey, I’m Rebecca, but you can call me Becca. Glad to finally meet the guy that can put up with my brother.” she joked as she reached to hug Steve.

Steve, God bless him, didn’t seem the tiniest bit nervous as he meets Bucky’s family. He comes over with his usual grace and charms his way through his family in no time. Bucky knows he’s slightly nervous meeting them, but it doesn’t show. He hugs Becca and laughs warmly at her teasing. “And I’m glad I’m finally meeting who put up with him before I came along.”

“Hey,” Bucky warned, but the quirk on his lip gave it away.

“We heard so much about you. And you’re even more handsome in person. I’m Winifred, but call me Winnie.” It was his mother’s turn to wrap Steve in her arms, making him bend over so he could lean into her. Bucky had to admit that imagine was the most heartwarming thing he has even seen. And he has seen Steve play with dogs in Central Park.

“I think he might become the favourite son,” Sam came up behind Bucky and chuckled at the way Bucky’s mom was talking excitedly with Steve, who seemed completely at ease, as if he had known Winifred for years.

“What? Are you jealous?” Bucky crossed his arms over his chest as they both watched the scene in front of them unfold. 

“Never. Winnie would drop you faster than she would drop me.” Sam said playfully, before bumping his shoulder with Bucky’s “Hey. It’s okay. He’ll be fine. Talk with Becca."

Bucky sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, nodding slightly “I know. I don’t want to.”

Sam clapped his hand against Bucky’s shoulder “You gotta. I’ll make sure your mom doesn’t smother Steve.” Sam gave him a reassuring look before jumping into the conversation “Winnie! How long has it been!?”

As Sam diverted everyone’s attention to him, starting to lead them off the main quad to the restaurant they had reservations for, Bucky had to take his chance.  He could do this. He just had to take a deep breath and do this. Before he would know it, he would be eating his favourite Chicken Alfredo in the whole of DC and this wouldn’t be stressing him out anymore. 

As if he noticed the moment, Steve looked back at Bucky, glancing at Rebecca before stepping closer to his boyfriend, handing him the briefcase and kissing his cheek. It was just a tiny gesture, but in that moment it did wonders to calm Bucky down. Enough to manage a smile towards Steve as he walked back to fall in pace with Sam.

Rebecca was following them, but Bucky gathered all his strength and reached out for her.

“Hey, Becca, can you just,” Bucky called, gently touching Becca’s elbow, before quickly drawing is hand back when he realized it was her left arm. She didn’t seem bothered by it, though.

“What? I promise I won’t ask Steve stupid questions. Or show him picture of your awkward years.” she said, pointing to their parents, Steve and Sam, several paces ahead of them already.

“Why is that making me think you actually have those pictures saved on your phone right now?” Bucky asked with a grimace, before shaking his head “No, it’s not that. Can we just talk for a moment?” 

Becca’s smile dropped, giving him a look over “Yeah… I guess?” she was clearly confused but followed Bucky to the bench away from the main commotion he lead them to and sat next to him, her hand resting over Bucky’s on his knee. “Is everything okay, James?”

Bucky’s shoulders relaxed as he felt her hand on his, but calming down internally was much harder. He felt nauseous with his stomach in his his throat, but he knew the more he postponed it, the worse. He’d keep feeling like this until he finally faced Becca. He was facing her now, so might as well get this chance.

“Bucky, are you okay?” Becca asked again, now seriously concerned about her brother’s behaviour.

“Yeah, I-” Bucky sighed, looking up at her with a sad smile, before grabbing her hand in both of his “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I didn’t know how, but I guess it’s better to just say it.” he said nervously.

Becca eyed him confused, but held her brother’s hands back “What are you sorry for, Bucky?”

Bucky shrugged softly, watching as he caressed the back of her good hand, tracing a little scar along the skin. “Everything I guess? The accident, being an shitty brother?”

“Bucky,” her voice was soft, but Bucky could hear how firm it was. He didn’t need to look at her face to know she looked stern, just like their mom when they were little and did something they shouldn’t have. “We’ve been through this. It was wasn’t your fault.”

“Only that it was.” Bucky looked up at Becca, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his emotions in check “I was supposed to protect you and I let you get involved in something I knew wasn’t safe.”

“You also told me that as soon as you had real concerns.” Becca sighed, taking her hand back and rested it over her stiff prosthetic. Bucky could see how much it bothered her. “I was the one who didn’t listen to you,” she shook her head “I thought we had been over this, James Buchanan. It’s been two years, I never blamed you.”

Bucky shook his head, looking up at the sky. “Doesn’t mean I haven’t been an awful brother ever since.” He really wished he could be over it as well as Becca has. That he didn’t blame himself every time he thought of her and how she lost her arm because he didn’t take her out of the trial as soon as he didn’t trust the prototypes.

It was probably stupid that he was still so hung up on this when she was the one losing a limb, but he couldn’t help but worry about her, even when there was nothing to worry about. Call it his brotherly instincts, but she was his favourite person in the world and he felt like he had failed her miserably.

“Bucky.” Becca’s hand was soft against his cheek as she made him look at her. He was reluctant to do so, but he let her soft blue eyes calmed him down. “It sucked. Not having you there, going through all of that…”she shook her head “It was awful, but maybe it was a good thing you weren’t there.” she admitted.

“How?” 

“I didn’t want you to see me like that.” she shrugged softly “I knew you were blaming yourself and… I wanted to be strong. Wanted you to be proud of me.” Becca gave him a tiny smile that broke Bucky’s heart all over again.

“Becca…” he said softly “You always make me proud. I saw you in that bed, so fragile, but I could see the fire behind your eyes, I knew you’d get through it, I just… I thought I could do better by not being around.”

“You’re stupid, but we already knew that,” she chuckled softly, before pulling Bucky into a tight hug

Bucky immediately leaned into her, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close like he hadn’t in a couple of years. It felt like a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. He would never really forgive himself for stepping away during the worst time in his sister’s life, but maybe he could stop obsessing over it.  If she was okay with it, he should get over it as well and start showing her he really was there for her.

“It’s okay, Bucky. As long as you don’t do that again. I have those awkward baby pics and I’m not afraid to show them,” she warned with a teary smile, rubbing the corner of her eyes. Bucky noticed but he didn’t point it out. “So, you were dramatic for no other reason than this? And here I thought you were going to tell me you’re proposing to your boyfriend.”

Bucky shook his head with a laugh “I mean.. Yeah, but I also have something for you.” he reached to pick up the briefcase, placing it on his lap, “While I was being stupid, thinking ignoring you would be the best for both of us, I was also focusing on this. An apology, I guess.” he shrugged as he looked at her.

Becca eyed him, intrigued “I’m not sure if I should be excited because it’s a surprise or tell you I don’t need your apology because you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle at that. God, how he loved her. “Well, this is the reason I went back to school and why I’m in New York right now, so you better be excited,” he bumped their shoulders with a soft smile “It’s just something I hope will make up for it. I worked really hard on it.” 

As he pushed the buttons to open the case, Bucky gave Becca one last look before revealing the prototype he had been working for the past few months.

While his internship actually involved helping veterans who were in need of a prosthetic, Tony Stark’s favouritism over Bucky allowed him to use the labs and spare parts in his free time to develop an arm for his sister, actually creating the prosthetic that landed him there in the first place. It was hard work, juggling the already stressful internship with developing something so intricate on his free time, but those late hours were worth it.

Becca’s face seeing it was worth it.

Her nose scrunched up and her bottom lip quivered. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. Her hand moved inside her blouse by her collar, and before Bucky knew, he was being smacked in the back of his neck with a fake arm. Yeah, it was totally worth it. 

“Did you just take out your arm to hit me with it?”

Becca laughed, teary eyed, but her smile rivaled the sun in that moment “Of course. You’re so stupid, Bucky, I hate you.” There were was no malice behind her words as she wrapped her arm around his neck and held him close.

“I love you too, Becs.” Bucky smiled against her shoulder, holding her protectively for as long as she held onto him. As she leaned back, placing her old prosthetic on the bench next to her, Bucky pointed to the shiny mechanical arm on display “Wanna try it out?”

“Do I wanna- Of course I want to try it out!” Becca was already rolling up the sleeve of her blouse, exposing the covered stump. Bucky had found it hard to look at before, but the soft lilac cover made him smile. She was finding herself in her disability, and Bucky couldn’t be more proud.

“Okay, so, this is still a prototype,” he warned her as he grabbed the small device that would make it all work. It looked almost like an ear-piece, flesh coloured and all to blend against her skin.  “And I worked the measures around your medical exams, so we will probably need adjustments,” Bucky explained as he reached out to push her wavy dark hair back, so he could stick the transmitter behind her ear. 

“It looks amazing, Bucky… Did you really make this for me?” Becca asked, gently touching the transmitter after Bucky got it positioned and active. There was a soft buzzing coming from the metal arm, but it stayed pretty still.

Bucky nodded, picking up the arm, before gently grabbing Becca’s “Yeah.. Coming up with it was all I could think about after the accident. I know how much you hated your stiff one. I started designing it and I applied to the Stark Internship with it to be able to actually build it for you.” he spoke softly as he set up the prosthetic against her stump, tightening the straps so it wouldn’t slide off. Bucky was mindful of the movement it would have and how he could minimize the stress on the other muscles he had to anchor it to.

Becca listened to her brother quietly for a change, watching him work with the piece of technology that was probably worth a few thousands, that was now attached to her. “It’s.. surprisingly not heavy..” she stated as she slowly lifted her arm to inspect it closer, her flesh fingers brushing against wire and metal.

Bucky chuckled “Yeah. Stark has the good metal alloys. And again, it’s a prototype, it’s not perfectly functional yet, it’s missing a few components to make it smoother, but it works… hopefully.” Bucky furrowed his brows as he looked at it.

“How does it work?” she asked

“Well…” Bucky gently took both her hands, flesh and metal, and held them against his palms “The thing on your neck is a neurotransmitter. It connects to the arm. Might give you a little headache after a while, by the way. Not my area of expertise, but they’re improving that.” he smiled softly, before playfully poking Becca’s new metal wrist. “You might even feel some day.”

Becca looked up at him doubtful, before looking back at her hands “It’s not moving.” she stated.

Bucky nodded. “Move your index finger. Right hand.” he instructed. He had been working with a few veterans over the last past couple of months, and this part was always his favourite. Well, besides actually building the prosthetics. 

Becca sighed, but easily wiggled the index finger.

“Good, now your pinky.”

“James…”

“Just do it.” Bucky asked with a soft chuckle.

Again, she moved her finger with ease.

“Okay, now index finger. Left hand.” Bucky said, pointing with his chin to the new shiny metal hand before looking up at his sister.

Before she even tried, Becca shook her head “I can’t.”

“Just think about it.” Bucky smiled softly. It wouldn’t be the first time someone would even be afraid to think about moving something they knew wasn’t there. Becca never mentioned phantom pains, but even with them it was hard to actively think about moving part of you that hasn’t been there in a way. It had always worked, with different activity levels. Bucky just wanted it to work at this point.

Bucky watched Becca’s expressions change pretty quickly. At first she was doubtful, a quirk in her brow that was such a Barnes thing, then the focus behind her eyes, then he felt the movement of the finger against his own palm, Becca’s face changing completely. 

This is why he wanted to do this for her. To see the hope in her that maybe things weren’t so different after all, that she could have some function back. She was tough and would get through with even less, but Bucky wanted to give his sister what she deserved, which was the world. He couldn’t, though, so he wanted to give her this. A functioning arm. Being able to tie her shoelaces, braid her own hair, and drive.

“Bucky…” Becca said, a few tears escaping from her eyes. She kept moving the metal fingers, gently curling them against Bucky’s palm, testing them out. It didn’t take long before she had grasped Bucky’s hand. It was so tight it was slightly uncomfortable for Bucky, but he wouldn’t have said anything, even if she had broken his hand.

“It works.” Bucky stated, smiling widely at her, squeezing her flesh hand softly.

“It looks pretty badass, too.” Becca sniffled, bringing the metal hand up and moving the wrist now, inspecting it closer. She was so mesmerized by it, Bucky would never forget this moment. He had imagined it multiple times in his head, but none of them came close to this. 

He was proud of himself, for creating something like this, for making his sister happy like this. It wasn’t much, and it would never take back the months he ignored her, but it was a start, and her smile was more than worth it.

“Bucky, I love it. Thank you.” she threw her arms around his neck, and just that movement, even if the arm clearly still felt foreign for her and hung slightly lifeless, it felt like the best hug Bucky had received in his life. 

“You don’t need to thank me, Becca. I love you, too. I hope you like it.” he pressed a kiss to the side of her head, holding her close to him and enjoying this more than anything in the world.

“Can I show Mom and Dad? Or is it a Stark secret?” Becca asked as she finally leaned back, her eyes going back to the metal, that was reflecting the sunlight beautifully. 

“Maybe don’t advertise it’s Stark tech, but it’s yours now. We gotta upgrade it, but yeah, you can show Mom and Dad.” Bucky shook his head fondly as he watched her touch every little stripe of metal that made up the entire forearm. 

“And I can finally look threatening enough when I tell Steve to not even think about breaking your heart.” And there was his Becca again. With her mischievous smile and kind eyes. She never left, not really, but how had Bucky missed her.

Bucky closed the briefcase and got up, motioning for Becca to do the same, “We better go, or they’ll be done with their food before we get there. You know how much Sam loves those burgers.” 

Becca got up and fixed the sleeve of her blouse so it could cover her new shiny metal arm, wiggling her fingers before she reached for Bucky’s hand with that one “No more than I do. And this transmitter is making me hungry.” she joked with a smile, squeezing Bucky’s hand before pulling him along the way.

If Steve asked why his hand was bruised as soon as he sat down next to him in restaurant, Bucky just shrugged and told him it was one of the reasons why this had been a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this, I hope you enjoyed.  
> You can find my lovey artist Stove at stovenbucket.tumblr.com


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